Organization, order, orderliness, planning, regulation & logicality; some of the synonyms presented when looking in the dictionary for ‘efficiency’ – not typically a word one might associate with game. But of those synonyms, the last one ‘logicality’ has come to the forefront of my mind in recent days. Whereas one might allow emotions to be swayed by the company of another, I believe either maturity or more cynically, skepticism brings us to a point where we become quite logical about our sexual or relationship decisions & motivations.
Whereas once upon a time I was unquestionable a slave to my emotions when I was interested in a girl, she was interested in me or I was in relationship with her (when I was Jaded, there wasn’t any other ways except feeling obliged to persue a relationship following any interaction), nowadays things are quite different. The act of having sex with someone literally means nothing to me, aside from the physical pleasure. While I welcome & enjoy emotional involvement with a longer term partner with understood bounderies, having sex with them doesn’t have any effect on how I feel about them whatsoever. In many ways, it’s like I’ve purged myself of false emotional weakness brought on through sex; something which women can become adapt to quite easily. Some (typically Western influenced women, who can’t stand the idea of a liberated man) might say this is sad, as I don’t get any emotional fulfilment from sex. I actually think quite the opposite, as I’m not able to make logical decisions about who I allow myself to become emotionally involved with. It’s a new level of control over oneself. One might say, even a stoical standpoint, ready to deal with any eventuality. It doesn’t mean I’m bereft of emotions. Only that I am in control of them. Much in the same way women view that ‘loving someone’ is of more importance over fucking someone & so that substantiates them sleeping with another man outside their marriage as ‘OK’, I am prepared to react to any development. I suppose one could assume this a benefit from previously having to recover from hitting the bottom.
Until now however, my actions have only been mostly reactive – meeting with people based on not wanting them to leave the harem. But as we’ve seen, maintaining a harem is very hard work & even then, with high quality women it could be any time when one of them meets someone else & off she goes.
Last week was a long holiday for the year, which always provides an excellent opportunity to gain perspective on the state of play in one’s life. While I have come some way to achieving a life others may be envious of, I do believe we all have choice & attribute my situation to that choice. You choose what to do or not do, what risks to take & how you react to adversity or opportunity. I realised during the downtime of the holiday that I had only really been reactive & also allowed my personal hang ups to affect my behaviour in my locale. Whereas in my previous central European state I had been an almighty monster of sex, attacking upon all fronts, I have let my apprehension of language & culture in my new central European state affect how I acted & have been. Since abandoning my attempts to learn the local language, I now just resort to English alongside some fundamentals in the local language. In addition, I just be myself – not placing upon myself the mantal of a suppressed expat. Not constantly messaging girls I’ve got in the harem in the fear they might stray elsewhere, but embracing the variety & new time. I have plenty to occupy myself & believe I have been underestimating myself also. The elements that led to phenomenal direct approach results are still there & my mentality has prevented me from seeing indicators of interest, even in an emotionally surpressed place such as this.
Despite these limitations, I have still amassed a considerable amount of new experiences since being here & continue to do so. However I now am allowing them to slide away naturally. No longer will I be firing off messages in the morning to psychologically condition some sort of dependancy upon my presence or attention, nor keeping them in my life any longer than needed. This week already I have prompted Singaporean to step away by suggesting it would be difficult to see her regularly, to which she responded she’d like to close this chapter & just be friends. I directly propositioned a woman from Kazahkstan to be lovers, to which she declined & I said no worries – then deleted her number. BalletDancer no longer seems to be up for anything after almost eighteen months of sleeping together, so it is so. I saw both Tunisian this week & FilipinoHostess this week, but won’t see them again. They’ve done nothing wrong (except the latter relentlessly trying to manoeuvre things into relationship activities, like ‘going for a walk’ – can think of about fifty other things I’d rather be doing), but the time has come to make space for others.
And this is the ‘logical’ part of efficiency; there are a lot of girls here I want to get down with. These range from attractive older divorcees, to some of the girls in my gym – that’s right, I said ‘some’. I have no intention of doing things by halves any longer. Previously I claimed to have newly adopt a systemic approach to sleeping with women & that has paid off some dividends but I’ve got trapped by my own insecurities in letting some of them slide away. Currently the harem is as below, not including those I mentioned already above:
SPC: Nice & easy, & seems to have accepted the status quo. Will remain an actual friend in any case, but do enjoy the occasional bit of action with her. Still a mega hottie.
Portuguese: Seemingly in a miserable & sexless relationship; had the ‘best sex of her life’ with me last time, which apparently was her last time. Given that her boyfriend sounds like a prick, wouldn’t actually surprise me. Will stay at least a friend but somehow very attracted to her, it’s mutual & her relationship keeps her off my case generally.
USIndian: Large eyed & breasted Indian girl who I’ve met a few times now. Incredibly hot & moving away in a month or so. Nothing sexual has happened yet but going to make a move tonight. If she doesn’t put out tonight, then she’ll be dropped.
SerbianLady: Very cool & friendly older woman who will soon inevitably start pushing for a relationship, but will sleep with her at least once more & then say ‘I’m not ready for a relationship’ yet, which is my usual go to line to manage expectations. Then it’ll be one way or another.
SwissArgentinian: Will keep her in the game for a while yet, as she doesn’t bother me at all & is quite happy to turn up, fuck me & go home again. Can’t ask for more than that. Decent person too, & we have great sex.
YoungUkrainian: Not sure what she’s up for, but will meet her next week & go for it. Again, we’ve met several times now so if she’s up for some sex, that’s great. Otherwise, am sure someone else will be.
MarriedIsraeli: Haven’t mentioned her yet I believe, but our interactions went from her offering me a relationship coaching session. Soon after arrival in said session, that turned into us jacking each other off. A few days later, she came to my place to go the whole way. Married eighteen years (of course) & has massive breasts, which honestly is the main reason I like her, as well as the kick of watching in near disbelief as a younger man screws the hell out of her. Obviously not interested in anything more & aside from some ongoing messages, not too much hassle. So still some life in the old girl yet.
Let’s see what happens! Be real, gentlemen.