The Present, The Lost, The Future, The Gained & The Inevitable

No, you don’t get to tell me what I find beautiful. On another note, what a bullshit caption. And pretty sure the guy on the left is trying not to piss himself laughing.

That title was a mouthful wasn’t it? And that’s I said to her, last night oh ho ho ho… My last days have been full of the usual, plus in order: banged Tunisian, banged FilipinoHostess, met a Turkish photographer (a man, who I wanted to work for me, just to be clear), had said photoshoot, had a rehearsal, met a Carribean air hostess (with the most-ess; oh I’m on fire today), banged my Portuguese friend because her boyfriend won’t, banged Tunisian again, dropped the crazy Indian chick for good, had a incredibly boring & drawn out date with a Serbian woman who talked about herself for almost two hours straight, & today I’ve had two singing lessons & am due to meet a hot Russian tonight. I don’t waste any time.

And that’s the post for this week done right? What? Another nine hundred words at least? Oh for fuck’s sake…

Jokes aside, I have been pretty busy since coming back from holiday with Venezuelan. Things are really great with her & the long distance thing doesn’t seem to be a problem at all any more. Furthermore my musical venture is really picking up momentum, which is great as I’d sure like to get out of all this consultancy business – surrounded by people who’ve pretty much given up on everything & resorted to having children as a way to attritbute some meaning to their otherwise hopelessly sad situation. The worst part about it is they’ve brought it on themselves, but seem resigned to it so who I am to tell them otherwise.

I’ve also regained my mojo & approached a couple of women in my gym. I use my finely honed bitch radar to ensure any early signs are responded to adequately to at least teach them a lesson. The Israeli women messages me non-stop, as this week I found out narcissism still widely exists. Power games are constantly instigated & attempted by idiotic people trying to feel like they’re in control. If you ever need a clear indication of a narcissistic women, I suggest you go back through this blog & read through my previous part time collaborator Zan’s detailed memoir of his first hand experience that drove him to the edge of life. Although he rarely writes here anymore, we are still good friends & for those of you interested in his condition since writing his last piece, I can assure you he’s doing better than ever. Depressingly accustomed to expecting women failing his relationship tests at the first hurdle, but simply enjoying it for what it is & moving on. But otherwise fine.

I should add that none of these relationship tests are anything unreasonable; simply if he for example, would like to spend a day to himself, he is assulted by a barrage of messages asking why he wants to be alone. Or if he questions his new squeeze associating with another man & parading it around on social media, she kicks up a fuss to which if he responds, he gets blocked. If you don’t have the time or inclination to read his pieces on his experience, then let me put it like this. If a woman tries to instigate a reaction out of you or constantly needs attention, then she’s to some extent at least, a narcissist. Anyone content within themselves doesn’t need constant validation from material or external sources. Israeli literally messages me about twenty times a day, & when she said how she “wasn’t sure” she’d be able to make our planned evening as planned, I just went ahead & organised something else. That unfortunately resulted in two hours of Serbian speaking to me about herself, as I politely pretended to listen while observing the clock that from my perspective was just behind her head. At some points, I literally found myself switching off entirely as she blathered on about something. I’m a polite person but it was very trying at times. I accelerated her leaving as much as I could to get rid of her, & then went home to enjoy the remainder of the evening. She’s a nice person at her core but I was honestly bored to death. In this situation (having already slept with her previously), the next time she gets in touch about meeting, I’ll tell her that’d be nice but I’m not ready for a relationship yet but we could be friends with benefits & so on. She’ll back off & that’ll free up space for another, or I’ll add another ongoing casual sex partner to the harem.

The Israeli woman then tried to turn this around on me, by saying I “cancelled on her”, which reminded me of a South Park episode from some years back where Cartman keeps having flashbacks to a previous exchange with another character, with every flashback gradually becoming further & further from the truth – it simply wasn’t true. She then tried to extract some sort of emotional response out of me, which didn’t work because I don’t care. I just like fucking you because you have massive breasts & you’re married, so you won’t be looking for more. She then tried to suggest we should ‘have a break’ (again, I don’t care) before her final gambit was to to be a little insulting about an aspect of my lifestyle (specifically that she wanted to come over at ten thirty at night when I had to be up at seven) which I just ignored. Finally I received a basic apology & some ‘reassurance’ she wasn’t upset with me. Are you fucking serious? I couldn’t give a fucking shit. I’d honestly rather you only texted me about when we’re meeting to fuck, you come, fuck me & then go home again as soon as possible. One thing I’ll say about the older Ukrainian woman I was seeing, is she knew the deal. She’s now naturally dropped out of the picture but at least she was actually a nice person who wasn’t utterly obsessed with herself.

As you can read from the above I’ve been around this week, both figuratively & literally. While on one of the many train journies this week, I observed a pleasant enough but boringly generic couple of women chatting away in English; one an older Irish woman & the other a generic Eastern European who was clearly one of those women who had both adapted an extreme version of what she perceived to be the local culture as well as had previously fucked her way around Europe a little. I listened to their conversation & honestly, the stream of words was mostly surface level, extraneous bullshit. They were skirting around a variety of points while not going into depth or having any sort of substantial opinion on any of them. It was so boring to listen to, to the point where I had to eventually drown out the conversation with music from my headphones. I realised that the act of speaking, was more important than what was said.

Now I won’t be entirely condemnatory here, as to be fair it could have been that they were part of a bigger group that had finished whatever & then gone their own way, only to find themselves having to be polite while sharing the public transport. I’ve also been in situations (more often with men in fact) where I’ve found myself with very little in common with the other person & had to try to resort to talking about football or some other generic subject to avoid an awkward silence. If football or girls don’t work, then it typically says a lot about the other, as I think I’m a diverse enough character to get on with most people to some level. Or at worst, a good actor. But in any case as regards the two women, it was such a bland conversation it was unbearable. It seemed as though they were terrified to even come close to broaching any subject which may be considered unpopular or controversial, let alone have an opinion on it.

This actually is quite commonplace among society these days, where having an unpopular opinion results in your character being tainted to some degree; that degree being different levels of exclusion until you do or say something to ‘realise’ the ‘error’ of your ways. It can happen in your workplace, through to the celebrity world, where we’ve seen people get lambasted for expressing a different opinion to the current acceptable standard deviated average.

The absence of dialogue will result in the stunting of societal growth on any level. But that’s already happening because for whatever reason (still to be concluded but I suspect it has something to do with social media), most people are just harvesting their bite size opinions & regurgitating them. Nothing grates me more than hearing someone who is simply repeating what they’ve heard elsewhere, with any critical analysis, no questioning of the source, outlet or sponsor of the information disseminated, & no lateral thinking about the underlying reasons why anything is done or how it relates to anything else that’s currently going on.

It’s so boring, basic & stupefying. I honestly believe the dead look you get in the eyes of so many people nowadays is their eyes betraying how they’re sabotaging themselves day to day, by repeating shit they know nothing about in the name of being accepted. Who gives a fuck? You’ll only find true connection with others on any level, if you remain true to yourself in what you say & do.

~ Unjaded

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