So here we are in August of 2017; hasn’t time flown since 2014 when I started this blog. A man who was deeply in the throes of female affections, to an almost ridiculous degree. Strangely enough, with the exception of three years to which I’m told by independent sources have made little difference to my demeanour, things have changed quite substantially since then. For one, I feel significantly enlightened since then, which is probably due to a variety of things. I mentioned previously how what had happened to me in that particularly low period had a permanent effect on me. But after some travelling with my merry band of musicians sans Venezuelan, I had a little time to think clearly & evaluate my own behaviour & experiences being in a different country, with solely male friends.
And I came out realising, that a lot of what I feel, is because of where I am. Without again banging on about how where I’m currently located is dire (it is for a man of different tastes), not only have I had bad experiences here, the girls here are literally almost devoid of any type of interactive personality. While I thought it might be the way the world is going with the addiction to social media that seems so prevalent now, a trip to a neighbouring country totally reopened my eyes to why I had such an incredible life before, where I was literally banging different women almost every night. While that has been the case here at times & I certainly don’t have a drought, it has been so much more hard work at times. OK, I lived in the city back in 2014 & now I’m ten minutes train ride out of town in not the most trendy area. But there’s no way it’s going to be because solely because of that. Being abroad again, even during times with Venezuelan, I’ve seen women looking over. Checking me out. Even smiling & giving indicators of interest. Where I reside now, you literally have to be psychic to know if a woman is interested (unquestionably with the natives) & even then, upon approach you’re fighting uphill not from arrogance (although that is occasionally the case) but from a total lack of interactive skills. It’s a tiring business.
I have been offline nowadays, as opposed to the Tinder days of 2014 & even some of 2015. This has been intentional, as it’s indisputable Tinder has become vastly worst as it’s become more popular with both women & men. My last experiences resulted in a couple of catches which were fun at the time but overall it was a totally demoralising experience, as you came to terms with simply put, how shit people are now. The blase attitude of people, along with a clear devolution in communicative ability, ends up with you finding yourself endlessly uninspired, even to the point of abuse or sarcasm, asking questions intentionally to throw a curveball in the works.
Overall the experience abroad was great. Being in a vastly more populated country with a much more diverse demographic than the one dimensional lifestyle that prevails here was enormously refreshing. A range of people with their own challenges & from various backgrounds makes for people with a equally broad range of personalities & traits, & I for one always seem to find myself getting on with those who have overcome struggle in their lives, giving them that fired determination. Nothing is more boring to me than a person who hasn’t experienced anything. Or to be more accurate in the modern western world, decided to insulate themselves & minimise the possibility of ever actually taking a risk or feeling anything. How boringly pathetic, but yet symptomatic of today’s western culture.
Imagine if there was an alien invasion or some type of serious war? How many Western countries would manage to get their shit together, or at least avoid being hampered in the defence of their sovereign lands by sympathisers of the enemy?
Anyway, let’s not get into politics. My first notable argument with Venezuelan came via a political conversation this week, where I saw the first signs of childish behaviour. Although I smoothed things over for the sake of staying with her, I left with a bitter taste in my mouth & a reminder of how I should always keep in mind my options should things ever get more serious in the future. I intend to keep all of assets separate with anyone moving forward, & any marriages will be subject to a pre-nuptial. While I must say I doubt Venezuelan would be malicious, one must always prepare for the worst case scenario with women even if initiated by your own actions, such is the potential venom or minimally, emotional unpredictability of women. And that is to say, even if it goes that far.
It is somewhat refreshing to know you are always improving, & I believe one should strive to always do that. Another important factor that has been the difference to before I moved here & being here, is that I have set some goals & achieved them (actually far quicker than I predicted), & from that I set new goals, which in my mind is the only way to ensure constant progression. These have ranged from physical, where despite being older I’m probably in better shape than I was three years ago), financial & creatively.
Those goals have also extended to sex with women from around the world, where I’ve enjoyed fun times with girls from places as varied as Mauritius, Uruguay, Israel & so on – for me, definitely one of the best goals I set myself. Hopefully soon I’ll be adding yet more to that list, despite the utter lack of personality.
Walk with your chest high & never doubt yourself. When you do, remember that’s normal. Take time out. Recompose yourself. Change your environment if you need to. Change those who you surround yourself with, even temporarily. And remember, whatever you feel as a normal man is entirely fine. Testosterone exists within our body for a reason; to prompt us to ensure the human race does not perish. The same reason we defend our countries against those who seek to reduce our liberties & the same reason we work in virtual slavery for those who truly mean something to us. Although we may always & should legitimately choose to change our paths if we don’t feel appreciated or valued by those who claim to say so, there is also value in staying the course.
Do as your heart compels you too, & be proud of the core of who you are, without doubt so easily imposed from outside.