As is always the way, when you stop caring about the opposite sex & get in touch with one’s self, the energy you accumulate from concentrating on the self emanates outwards & it becomes attractive to others. While recently my main priorities have been Venezuelan, my band’s debut support slot on an arena tour, consolidating my investments & maximising my effectiveness at the gym, I now find myself awash with options.
Too many in fact, both old & new. Right now, I have SPC on her third run after a couple of doubting moments on her side, Tunisian back in touch wanting to ‘come over’ sometime, a bisexual Swiss / Hungarian woman also after the same, a Uruguayan, a Polish high flyer, another Hungarian, an Israeli who likes to play games, a Russian, a South Korean, the old hot Estonian & a young Bosnian girl who wants me to ‘train’ her. It verges on the absurd & I really should cut off the one’s I’ve already had my way with in the interests of time, but the power of having control over all of them gets me off. I play a dangerous game at the best of times, but I should know when to pull the plug. When a girl decides not to talk to you anymore as a result of you ending it, it’s actually a blessing in many ways as you then no longer have to worry about any psycho moments.
Speaking of which, I purged my blocked list yesterday & within an hour the Uzbek Psycho had got back in touch. I quickly remember who that number had belonged to & rectified my mistake. At no point do I want unexpected visits arriving at my house, particularly when Venezuelan is visiting. That can often be somewhat stressful anyway & admittedly is often a concern of mine whenever I invite a girl over to my place. I even refrain from giving them my exact address in case they later reference it to my disadvantage.
I have often said I’ve felt as though I’m reaching the point of ending the hedonistic lifestyle I have maintained for the last few years but that’s usually because of a particular period I have then been experiencing. To think almost two years ago now I was considering remaining long term with someone who resulted in little more than a typical female idiot with big fake breasts. Don’t get me wrong, they were great fun & upon non-nostalgic reflection the other day, I realised I had maintained the facade with her because I liked banging her on a regular basis. Ironically, I taught her everything she knew; raw material I shaped into my own play thing. While I could have considered her emotions more, I was vindicated in my suspicions of her only being surface deep as she quickly worked her way through some more penis. All’s well that ends well however.
With knowledge & some honestly, one will quickly realise the hedonistic lifestyle is unsustainable. Much like a drug addict, one always seeks a harder high. While with women this may not be only pursuing more attractive versions, it can be becoming ever more ruthless with people. Once you get what you want, even if you like the person that’s only going to have a limited shelf life without intimacy. Even long term lovers or friends with benefits will have more to their arrangement than they might even be prepared to admit, because the physical thrill will only last a limited time. I am clear on this more than ever now, for a number of reasons confirmed through readings as well as experiences. Despite having a plethora of women historically & now to choose from, the girl I most desire is Venezuelan, because she is who I easily feel most comfortable to. That she is independently physically hot is a bonus but I know it wouldn’t be the same as it is now without that connection we have. It even manifests itself physically; when I’m finished with a girl to whom I only have a physical attraction & little more than a polite understanding with, when i’m done I’m done. I’m a considerate & even generous lover. But with no other woman except Venezuelan, will I finish & within moments want to do it again. That traverses biology & hasn’t happened to me with anyone else.
I remember reading once about the concept of ‘mini relationships’ when I started my game journey which led me to my self development journey (a far more worthwhile cause). While I have been through my ‘hardcore’ period of telling women what I want & don’t want, this can be a bit hit & miss. To be ambiguous about your level of interest is far more interesting to a woman & far more likely to garner you a wider range of women. It’s worth bearing in mind than the majority of (particular Western based) women in the mating pool allow precedence of the herd mentality over their own deep seated feelings. With the rare exceptions of those who’ve fallen through the net for whatever reason, most women consider peer acceptance as one of their main priorities. And for that reason, they’re generally very uninteresting people & doomed to be perpetually miserable.
To be fair however, this is also common among men & is a people thing, rather than a female thing. I only emphasise the male dating perspective as there are still those who come here for dating advice – something I do specialise in despite all my faults. Men also feel the need to be accepted by others, manifesting itself in ‘acceptable’ arenas such as sports, which replace the boredom that comes from times of peace, more so than ever when we can effectively have nothing to strive for when all of our needs are accounted for by the supermarket or the bank.
The modern age has resulted in this being refined down to the most basic of interactions, where quick exchanges provide a shallow version of the desired result, whether that be peer acceptance or validation of being wanted by someone (read ‘anyone’) of the opposite sex. The well documented failure of the latest worker generation in achieving any happiness of substantial depth tells you everything you need to know about how social interactivity is right now & although this is endemic in the latest generation old enough to participate in society, the normalisation of this means existing, older generations do (at least in part) feel as though they must adapt to these new models of interaction in order to have any success. Much like the proliferation of online dating which has for all intents & purposes become the standard means of dating now instead of the practice of asking someone on a date & which was derided when it first emerged, no one sends a letter when an email will do.
Inversely, those who do make the effort to differentiate themselves from the crowd by using more traditional methods, can find themselves highly valued but critically, only to someone else who might appreciate it. And even then, there’s no guarantee the recipient will discontinue these other methods they are using, such as online dating to ensure a woman gets a regular supply of attentions, validation or cock. Much in the same way it’s said you’ll see the true nature of a man when you give him true power, you’ll see the true nature of a woman when she’s able to flex her vagina to the endless hordes of hungry, undignified, gameless men found online. I have seen & personally experienced this countless times through first hand experience; fortunately always placing myself on the side of he who is not emotionally involved & taking it for what it is. On more than one occasion for example, have I fucked a girl only for her to have come from or about to go on a date. The Ecuadorian women I was seeing had done exactly this, inviting me over for sex prior to a date she was having. As it turned out, she confided in me that she liked this guy she was seeing & thought it was getting serious, as I laid next to her moments after she’d finished me all over her chest. The following week, she texted me to say things with him were ‘getting serious’ & she couldn’t see me anymore as she ‘wanted to give it a try with him’. I even played along, eager to see how far she’d take it if I offered her everything on her terms. I proposed to her that I’d be happy to fuck her whenever she wanted, at her convenience, alongside her seeing her boyfriend. Needless to even say, it wasn’t surprising at all when she agreed to the idea. The temptation of having her cake & eating it, was way too much for her to resist. I didn’t follow through of course, instead focusing my attention elsewhere. We briefly spoke again a few months later & predictably, her attempt at the relationship had died a slow, miserable death.
This sabotage of misery people employ on themselves via the voluntary participation in these processes, decimates their self esteem as the essence of interaction completely goes missing & these experiences become transactionary. This runs through every aspect of what happens between people, even beyond the scope of sexuality that we are discussing here. Colleagues, friends & family are all affected likewise & so we conclude that the epidemic of transactional relationships is unfortunately commonplace now. As such, we have to treat people for what they are & when we speak of ‘game’, we speak indeed of playing the game. Going through the motions & saying the things people want to hear, with only enough of our true selves within each sentence, each touch & each exchange in order to make it appear convincingly authentic, despite this poor substitute not being what anyone really wants.
Should you find that genuine, authentic connection within another in any type of relationship, providing you have experienced & uncomfortably pushed oneself enough to know yourself well, you will recognise it & in the ideal scenario, the other will also be as you.