Here we are again in the middle of January, & the approach for the new year is to be proactive, understanding that despite one’s best efforts some things are simply down to change & so to enjoy downtime to the full in the meantime.
While one often starts a year year by removing some things from their lifestyle in line with what we’ve been conditioned to think is ‘a good thing’; not drinking, not eating fatty foods & so on. But in reality, it’s our life & we should live it as we choose to. If you enjoy those things, go ahead & do them. But any change has a cost; every sword with two edges. Nothing is wholly good or beneficial to oneself, although there are some things that can be of benefit to all parties. At the very least, one will lose time.
My other focus from this year onward is that of quality & doing things for the self. We live in a world where everyone is competing for your attention & everything is analysed down to the most minute detail in order to get it. The net result is sanitisation, where we only have perfectly prepared options in plain view. Venture further beneath the obvious in any area & you’re bound to find something more interesting; usually independent artists who aren’t overly interested in trying to force themselves upon you.
A focus on quality output is the way forward I believe. In an age of over saturation from the proliferation of affordable technology, one can best present themselves in a way truly satisfactory to themselves, with integrity & honesty. In the words of Macho Man Randy Savage, ‘the cream will always rise to the top’.
In line with this new approach, I’ve also trimmed down any risky sex assets. SPC is finally out of the picture after her latest attempt to push for more, although happily it was an OK parting of ways after I didn’t profess my love for her, instead of my honest opinion which was that I liked her & care about her, & obviously liked fucking her (didn’t specifically mention that part like that!) but wasn’t interested in more.
Honestly we had a good connection & it could’ve had potential in different circumstances. If I was for whatever reason stuck where I am or intending to stay here forever & looking for a relationship, she was one of the best options I could consider. Unbelievably it had been two years we’d been seeing each other, after I originally had approached her in my office kitchen as she changed the coffee in the coffee machine. We wouldn’t have gone on that long if there wasn’t something there. But irrespective of already having one of the best relationship options I could hope for, I have absolutely no intention of staying in what is effectively a village full of emotionally retarded people , no matter how much money is on offer. I want life in my face. To feel the spirit of people around me. To be surrounded by those who positively challenge me to yet further limits. This, is the last place possibly on earth that will either do that or enrich me in another way.
Furthermore, the relationship with the Uruguayan woman I had been seeing, came to an end after an ultimatum of me needing to give more. One month later, she was back in touch plainly stating she missed the sex, which I must admit was very good. There’s something about having a forty four year old Latina devour your penis with a great deal of enthusiasm, despite the typical drawbacks of a woman of that age. I haven’t decided if I’ll revisit that, as there are a number of new candidates coming into the picture & I don’t want to waste too much time or energy on women this year.
Yes indeed, there we are. The focus on quality also extends henceforth to who I sleep with, as the enthusiasm for me doing that continues to decrease with each passing year. Don’t get me wrong; the libido is as strong as ever. Switching to a low carb diet, high natural fat & otherwise clean diet since the beginning of the year has made me hornier than ever. But the bullshit one must go through in order to get to that stage is often tiring. And even with a relatively conservative, efficient approach to dating, the costs soon add up in a place where everything is expensive. Even if I was living in a place with financial options, my main concern is the waste of energy & time in dating people with whom while they may be nice enough as people, they’re just simply not very interesting. While I appreciate a lot of people are concerned about how they come across particularly in a first meeting, it’s becoming more & more true that people are getting less & less interesting. Perhaps it’s the proliferation & central role that social media has taken in the normalisation in the newer generations as they don’t know any different & the resulting rounding off of any interesting ‘edges’ of people, as their actions are checked online by others. The virtue of youth also has the downfall of insecurity most of the time, & as anything that might make someone a bit unusual may indeed make them distinctly interesting as well, we could be losing some of that. Certainly dating, can be dull in the short term as you hear how everyone is angelic & looking for a ‘serious relationship’, & then after some sex that changes their whole perception of what they thought it was, firstly you are effectively threatened with their withdrawal if you don’t commit more to the ‘relationship’ they’ve convinced themselves you’re having, & then after some time providing everything ended relatively fine & no one else is sniffing around, before long you’ll get a message primed to see if you’re still up for fucking them.
My experiences in dating in the past year but also generally, have shown me that my theory of people becoming less interesting in these days, is generally true.
My focus on quality is largely fueled by what I choose to put energy into; not from a lack of it, but my input against the output I receive. I’m bored to death here but in much the same vein as the earlier metaphor of everything having a cost, the cost of being bored is the time, incentive & ability to focus upon a new venture or skill development. While I’m as much into sex as ever, I’m less inclined than ever to jump through hoops to get a girl naked & into me, when for me it’s become no more than a easily obtainable & exchangeable asset.