As much as the fire within me seeks to push myself onwards to explore & breach ever new limits, it comes at a price. When almost everything is demanding of my time & energy, then becomes the time where I question what I am doing. It’s more often the case with things I must do, rather than choose to do. When I’m at work & people are complaining at me because of the mistakes of others in the past or as a result of bad managerial decisions, it’s then where my sense of self begins to rise up & question why. Why I should sit there & accept levels of disrespect about things which ultimately are of no consequence. People losing their shit over a report not being generated when species of animals around the world are becoming extinct & corporations try ever more ways to gain more control over us until we become the perfect consumers.
Contrast that with the endless amounts of energy you will find within yourself when you discover & participate in something where there is a marked goal & you feel part of a group where you are making tangible progress. Sleepless or hungry, somehow you might even not realise you need those things, so consumed are you from enjoying what you are doing,
The only consistent cost one will find, is whatever you do, you will miss something. There is always the opportunity cost. And while the grass is indeed often seemingly greener on the other side & nostalgia will always be viewed more positively than it really was, there is a lot of truth to the fact that many of the things we have, or indeed have had; will one day no longer be there.
The relationship you have with your parents, your partner or even something as simple as a pet you care for, will all one day be gone or even taken from you. As I sit there, toiling away upon something for no other reason than financial reward, I think about the passing minutes & how I could be wasting them. What else I could be doing. Who else I could be spending time with. What other goal I could be working towards.
Because in the end, it’s those same simple things that will have made your life worth living.