Chop & Change

Get back in place, GET BACK IN PLACE! Now look what’s happened, you’re all mixed up…

Oh it’s all been quite a muddle you know. The tiers I mentioned here have been thrown into disarray, as women’s hidden traits come to the fore. Let’s shuffle that shit up with an update;

Tier One: Regular Fucking

Main: All as before, still in the picture & the closest thing I have to a serious relationship. No change from before, she’s seemingly pretty loved up so all good. If I was to pick concerns, she seems a bit bored generally sometimes, (imagine bored housewives) but after last time I don’t think she’ll stray. The boredom seems more work derived; such is the price of a life in corporation. The boredom actually serves me well, as she organises various things for us to do.

And… Yes indeed, that is it right now! It’s like being a conventional person or something equally ridiculous. ‘But Unjaded’ I hear you implore from afar, ‘what happened to Polish Three & Shy Student‘?

Tier Two: Assured backup fucking

Shy Student: Read it & weep. Or smile. Or indeed, roar with laughable disbelief, as everything comes out. Still occasionally texting. Have hit it once more since then, & in all honesty probably will again if it’s offered. Do feel some sort of responsibility however (damn you conscience), so am being nice.

Asian Pornstar: Still contacting me sporadically, offering activities that although show she’s thoughtful, aren’t of interest to me. Pretty much have cut her loose now, although respond when she contacts me in case I find myself in need. Won’t mention her here again unless something of particular interest arises.

FreAlg: Still in the game! Saw her at the gym recently after a couple of weeks apart due to out business schedules & the chemistry was tangible. Didn’t do much more than say hello with a ‘intentionally-slightly-too-close-to-the-lips’ cheek kiss, & was rewarded with a  nice smile, following by a deluge of sexual texts later that evening. Going to ‘catch up’ next week.

Hungarian: Saw last night after I bring myself for dinner at her place, & ‘watched’ a film together. Did everything but the beast with two backs, during which she clearly told me she’d been trying to fuck me again on multiple occasions but I hadn’t made time (I’m paraphrasing of course). Small & hot, as well as low maintenance now she knows I’m leaving, so most likely going to get promoted to tier one by the next update. Of course, she’s dating two other guys at the same time; a divorced father of two who took her for dinner, & some other mug who did the same. Yet more evidence of the pointlessness of romanticism with most women, but not my problem.

Romanian Lawyer: Been away, now back. Stayed in touch while away (good sign with any girl) & generally makes the effort, which is appreciated. Strong chance she’ll get introduced to the kitchen table soon again, as I’m a sucker for friendly girls.

Estonian: Promoted to tier two. Why? Was rocking a fitted shirt at work this week & she wondered into the kitchen at the same time as me. Said hello, then continued talking to my male colleague who I was at lunch with. Immediately texted me after she’d got back to her desk (always a strong sign of interest), asking how I was & other small talk. I responded, asking how her boyfriend was. She said ‘Oh I’m trying Unjaded, but it’s so difficult sometimes’. She then followed with something like ‘It is not helping seeing you looking like that around either’ (apologies, really will try to do more transcripts henceforth). All I have to do is engineer the situation (‘let’s have dinner one night’ or similar) & pull a direct move bear the end of the evening while in some privacy (remember; women’s main concern is if other people think they’re a slut – they can always convince themselves they’re not) & I could have it. And frankly, I’d rather like to. She has the strict office secretary thing going on, which is always a winner in my book, so why not?

BBP: Strong performance by BBP after another date. A simple cinema date (was tired & couldn’t be bothered to make small talk) yielded good dividends, as afterwards I suggested she come to my place next & I make her dinner, which was instantly accepted. Very nice girl, who I’ve been honest with & is very attractive with the whole ‘hot skinny geek thing going on’. Promoted to tier two & in line for the kitchen table this week, after clear advance acceptance.

Clearly a transitional week then.

Tier Three: Lapsed or Potential

PSG: Out of the picture completely. Strong resistance to escalation from previous issues, which in truth I noted from the beginning. Not wasting my time with such people anymore, so deleted.

Vols: Met in person. Nice enough girl, but bigger than I expected. Pretty slack at communicating, although randomly does make some effort. Not worth perusing though, deleted.

KorCar: Still as fucking irritating as when I first met her last year. Supposed to meet this week & was trying to nail down a solid time & place, which she responded to with something like ‘I know you’re waiting for me to confirm’ or some awkward attempt at flirting over message. I responded with ‘I just need to plan my limited spare time’, which is true because I need to work & fuck other women, to which she responded ‘Oh wow…’.

Now let me just say; if there’s one thing I can’t fucking stand about people, it’s when they respond to something quite reasonable with a response like ‘Oh wow’ or ‘whatever’ or some fucking shit like that. I will knock your head off for that shit, either metaphorically or physically. In addition, KorCar seems to struggle with either modern technology or reading English, as she doesn’t fucking reply very often. So, after this I decided to go see Hungarian as mentioned earlier, who had displayed some enthusiasm, & so was rewarded with my attentions for the evening. KorCar was awarded second prize of being bullshitted off by me saying I had to work late & my phone had died. Previously, I would have expected her to have written me off, but instead she came back with a relatively diplomatic response of ‘oh, maybe next time you could email me instead’. Yeah maybe, or maybe you can reply to my fucking messages & stop dicking around. Take note ladies; in-between all that deluge of attention you’re getting because of that thing between your legs everyone wants, sometimes you have to rouse yourself into putting a bit of effort in that might even go as far as replying to a message or even agreeing a place & time to meet. Don’t fucking strain yourselves though.

Shieldmaiden: Another dickhead. Messaged on Friday, received a reply Wednesday. Called her out on it, to which she said she had been ‘so busy’. Yeah I bet you were, a clearly bored recently divorced woman after nine years of marriage, drinking every night & wearing various small dresses? We all know precisely what you’ve been doing over the weekend, & it certainly wasn’t that ‘master chef’ course you told me you’d be doing over the weekend taking up all that time was it? Unless you were fucking him too. Jealous? She didn’t suggest it but no love; just don’t fucking bullshit me with this ‘holier than thou’ attitude, when you’re obviously making up for lost time & trying to fuck away the pain of a divorce. Just be honest with me & I’ll get involved too.

Sent her a message telling her if she fancied meeting up, to let me know. She wished me a good evening about six hours later, when I’d already deleted her number. Again, no time to waste on these types of idiots who think they’re clever.

A new match online, a couple of messages exchanged on networking sites sneak their way into the beginning of the pipeline, but not worth mentioning as of yet. I generally take take the machine gun approach for what appear to be quality looking women in the very initial stages, & after meeting (usually once is enough) determine how much I effort I intend on making. I can hear the feminists now; ‘But that’s so superficial Unjaded, you should give them all a fair chance. Maybe they’re shy’. Guess what? The amount of effort I put into a person is largely determined by the effort they reciprocate.

Keen eyed readers may note someone dropped off the list entirely; Polish Three. To complete the trilogy of Polish dramas, I went to her place last week after she suggested it would be easier for us to hang out & have some fun over the weekend. ‘Fair enough’ I thought, & I’d rented a car so I thought “let’s go”. Off I went, successfully driving to another country, picking her up, driving to the nearest town, having a good meal, treating myself to a gin & tonic (I barely drink) & having a good chat, thinking the chemistry we exhibited before I went away on the sailing holiday was reigniting. Went back to her place to see her dog, took him for an unexpected but fun walk, then finally got to bed. Tried warming her up, with no responses. Could’ve pushed but honestly, I’d had enough of this & was shattered as it was a Friday & I’d now been up almost twenty four hours. So we went to sleep, no sex for the second time we’d slept together. Maybe in the morning, I thought.

I hadn’t had any problems with the dog up until now. I’d met him before & generally get on very well with dogs. This one was young & excitable, which is fine. But clearly not disciplined. At least he wasn’t sleeping in the bed, so I got as good a sleep you can get when there’s a festival nearby, a number of drunk people who sound like they’re trying to break into your car & a fucking automated church bell tower that rings every hour right opposite you; windows wide open of course.

I’m sorry, but apparently it’s common knowledge this church is barely used, even in religious times. Even if it is used every day, WHICH FUCKING DICKHEAD though it would be a good idea for the bell to ring once for every hour, once an hour, throughout the night? If I moved into this area, I swear I would break in & permanently disable it at the very fucking least, in an early morning sleep deprived rage. Unbelievable.

‘Waking up’ in the morning as it’s traditionally called (as opposed to ‘feeling obliged to get out of the bed because the owner is getting up, & your eyes have been open for several hours anyway’) was immediate. She got up & snapped into her morning routine. I also did the same, dog vying for my attention. After sleep deprivation, I don’t really feel like playing with dogs, but this one was essentially demanding I play with it, by standing next to me & barking with increasing volume. As mentioned earlier, I love dogs but this one we rapidly approaching ‘cunt’ status in my mind. I stood on the balcony as Polish Three went about her business, her pausing quickly to offer me some pancakes which I politely declined. I looked out from the balcony, strangely craving a cigarette & thought to myself, ‘what the fuck am I doing here’?’ ‘I’m doing all of this, ultimately to just get laid’?

The dog was still barking at me & in my drowsy state, I contemplated this could be the first occasion in my life I could punch a dog in the face. He seriously wouldn’t shut the fuck up, even when I directly met his gaze. His male owner had died recently, so perhaps he was excited about some male company, but this wasn’t me. I had to get out of there, regardless of consequence. I made my excuses about having some things to do, gave her a peck on the lips (this had recently become our standard level of affection) & went outside. I drove back, enjoying the scenery & lack of traffic, reflecting upon how much beauty there actually is the world. I went home, made a nice meal & enjoyed a drink in the evening with an old (male) Greek friend I’d met when I’d first arrived in this country. We had coffee & spoke about out recent experiences. Being from Greece, he was in the country for the same reasons as I: economic. We didn’t really make small talk, it was straight into real conversation; eyes alight, hands waving expressively, impassioned interruptions practically welcomed. The evening was warm, the coffee was good & the stage was set to put the world to rights.

Not a lot had changed on his side; he’d been involved with a Latvian girl who’d recently arrived & as I listened to his story, needed a place to stay & furthermore, rent free. She’d taken advantage of his good nature & not being entirely game-less, he’d eventually told her to get moving, albeit after she’d rinsed him of a PC charger which set him back a bit of money. I educated him on his mistakes, so it wouldn’t happen again. Unusually for our modern age but as always, he listened intently & took on board what I said. We parted ways & I went home. It was great to see him, he’d always been good to me since the day we met & I’m glad he’s healthy & well. I woke up the next day, feeling great.

Polish Three? I haven’t had any contact with her since that day. I don’t know if she met someone else while I was away (she had let slip about some dude who was obviously interested from what I ascertained), if she’d seen more of my character & lost interest as a result, or if she’d read into her dog’s attitude towards me a little too much & decided that was a ‘sign’.

But frankly, I truly, just don’t care. The best part about that day, was realising how the single minded pursuit of anything, can make you forget those random people you meet can really mean more to you than you ever thought.

~ Unjaded

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