Some people in life, are either blessed with real confidence from birth, or they’ve somehow fought through some horrible experience & become confident enough to live their life without restraint. They make a decision & do it, without second thought about how they’ll do it, or who they might affect by doing it.
These types of people are often considered as strong personalities, whether it’s ignorance, a lack of emotional development or indeed, as described above they’ve simply thrown caution to the wind & are filling their lives with experiences. Momentum builds & before you know it, they are doing more & more. The men who live like this are highly sought after, considered as ‘real men’ & with women all over them.
But women are particularly good at doing this, especially after they’ve been hurt in a relationship. For whatever reason, men tend to wallow & women at least appear to revel in their newfound freedom. They also build momentum & in the case of a relationship reconciliation, will carry their new ‘discoveries’ about themselves back into the relationship. The balance of the relationship can easily slide into her favour, particularly if the man was at fault & had to win her back. He must redouble his efforts to to increase the perception of him in the relationship. Along with the (generally probable) likelihood of the love of your life fucking someone else during your break, breaking up temporarily in a relationship is one of the worst things you can do.
This is largely of course, to the developments of the world & dating, whereby a woman has assured attention & followers, who are simply queuing up for her.
Men can also build this momentum in much the same way. Disregard internal feelings about your loved one & attempt to live the playboy lifestyle. It can work.
But for those of us who have overdeveloped synapses or were taught to be more in touch with our emotions, the current situation is nothing less than hell. Having a depressive or overly questioning mentality in such a situation leads to no other path than a negative one.
Women often say they wish for us to express our emotions but doing so makes you appear weak. Appearing weak makes you less attractive to a woman. When whatever current situation is resolved by talking about said emotions, a feeling of regret for doing so engulfs you. You wonder why you allowed yourself to be so weak in the first place & even bother her with this. You think how she must feel less of you, irrespective of her actual opinion. Because of this, you feel more insecure & the next time, the anxiety & terrible thoughts come back again, twice as hard.
The spiral continues, & you wearing away on her feels like you’re just delaying the inevitable. Sooner or later, one of the guys in the queue is going to pop up, & seem so cool / self assured / hot (take your pick). You’ll be falling to pieces about any hints of this as well, & you’ll be a wreck of a man, particularly if you’re an older man.
I can see how men can be utterly destroyed by relationships & marriage. Your entire self worth can just be cast aside at any time, thanks to her knowing she can move on to her reserve list at any time.
The internet & social media has destroyed dating. It’s destroyed falling in love. It’s destroyed fixing something, instead of just replacing it.