Dogma

Random internet woman, demonstrates standard army issue wear circa 2017.

We only have complete control over ourselves. The man who allows jealousy for example, to drive him into a insane state where he believes his isolated emotions will have any effect upon the woman upon whom it regards. Simply speaking, a woman (or fairly speaking, a man also) will do as they wish, as their own feelings will take priority over any empathy of another. This is the case more so than ever now, where all the emphasis is about lying, about how you have such a rich, varied, wonderful lifestyle without fault or struggle.

I often consider a lot during a typical day, which consequently results in me busying myself with either a constructive activity or when those have been satisfied, chasing women around with the intention of getting them into bed. Or on a sofa. Or on top of a table. And so on.

The sex itself is as good as ever. I can’t deny there’s nothing better for me than banging either a woman with whom I have chemistry with, one who is clearly experienced or (on the frankly lowest level) one who is incredibly hot. The newer Ukrainian for example, has the kind of body & style which literally turns heads in the street, as I noted during our evening together the other evening. Contrary to what I said about her attitude which has been at times somewhat unpredictable, I actually had a very nice evening with her, with the additional bonus of seeing her strip her incredible body down to her bikini. Rather than my usual thing of getting through the number of dates as quickly as possible, to make inviting them to my place satisfy some sort of numeric psychology condition, I actually enjoyed getting to know someone who clearly has a lot of life experience. Admittedly, more than mine. I still don’t even know how old she is but as usual, couldn’t really care less.

Aside from that, I’ve had a couple of twenty four hour plus replies to messages, after which I followed my normal protocol of deleting their numbers. Knowing myself as a man of high value, I don’t tolerate disrespect from anyone.

This week, tonight is my only night off of meeting anyone, & that has only transpired when the Ecuadorian from days past who I’d proposed to come over to relight our old fire, then cancelled on me. In hindsight, that was good as I’m absolutely shattered. I feel as though I’m going through a phase of preparing a lot of women, but not converting a lot. It does point somewhat towards boring rather than lust, but I can only do what I can do. Particularly for my age but as well as generally, I am a high energy person. But everything is finite, whoever you are, & I often look forward to a quiet Sunday, all by myself. Right now, the energy I’m spending seems to be on the ‘romancing’ phase, with little payoff. In fact, off the top of my head I think I’ve only been with one new woman in the past month, which is very poor compared to my previous track record. Then again, my stable has gone through trimming of my own accord, with only SPC being currently who I have, who fulfils all of those above criteria & honestly, who I feel any incentive to put continuing effort into. I could get descriptive here but the last time we met, she was ‘unable’ to do everything, which resulted in an incredibly hot situation anyway. That was hot.

The Tunisian was the last one of my various conquests with whom I had excellent chemistry. She would come again & again, & do everything she could to satisfy me. That came to it’s natural end however, when she professed her love for me, which I think was infatuation more than anything else. Then on the other hand, you have women with who, there isn’t really any chemistry at all. I do find it one of the most unquantifiable elements in dating & relationships. There is a lot to be said for a man maintaining frame in day to day activities & particularly in a relationship, in order to keep a woman’s respect & attention, in much the same way all women used to & a few women in a few culture still do. Remember how nice it is when you still meet a woman who conducts herself with femininity & self respect without being obnoxious or arrogant? Believe it or not, that was once the standard among women, rather than the self obsessed, de facto prostitutes that slowly infect the remainder of respectable women out there.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t hate women. Far from it in fact. I’ve also mentioned on several occasions throughout this blog, that men, although commonly discriminated against today in the name of reverse discrimination, often are the cause or at least, contributing to the same for the way things are. But some women & it must be said, the radical feminists who have corrupted what was once a doctrine for equality, are nothing more than a cancer which has infected some to the point of, not even allowing others to express a view that may incline them to question or improve their own.

A belief without questioning or testing becomes a dogma. If people are not allowed to express, discuss or compromise over differing viewpoints, they will escalate to means that will be taken note of.

~ Unjaded

Absurdity

Why the picture of a bed? Blame insomnia…

Flying high in the sky, which means it’s blog post writing time again…

This week was total chaos. After weeks of scraping together money from bit part rentals of my properties, which the previous tenants all coincidentally vacated at the same time, I finally hit the jackpot with a refreshment of the apartment & a drop in the advertised price. In the end, I ended up charging more for it on a guaranteed contract, than I ever have before thanks to some clever negotiating.

The day job verged on absurd, as my day to day workload was seemingly ignored, things being added arbitrarily. In the end, I simply did things in the order I received them, finally completing them by a thin margin before I jet off to an exotic location with Venezuelan for the next week. There was basically no internet at all there, hence the delay since my last post.

The day job was compounded by a handover of the management duties of my band to our newly assigned manager by myself, as I’d become the de-facto manager as things had progressed. Fortunately, he is very strong in the sales area & I think his appointment is a shrewd one.

Then for whatever reason, I decided I’d go pedal to the metal with the girls, seeing a different one every day this week. Today before I took this flight was the last one, seeing SPC for some mindblowingly good sex. After however, I literally felt like a zombie. For about an hour, I could barely function aside from wearily responding to some messages regarding the properties. I felt like an utter shell.

All the sex has been superb, but I have recently been questioning the effects of such a lifestyle. Much in the same way as the classic Spinal Tap scene where the guitarist explains how their guitars are louder than other bands because ‘our amps go up to eleven’, it feels like my life is very much cranked up to eleven in every department. Again, I have it all; love, money, sex, fitness, creative outlets & privacy should I wish for it. I’ve submerged myself among everything I have created.

I recently wrote a song that to me, references the paradox of needing & so creating, what you believe you want, but you also somehow know it’s not good for you in some way. Two weeks ago, I was struggling with my energy levels, from what seemed to be some sort of virus. Now I’ve been fucking five girls in the last five days, & the quality of the sex has been between ‘great’ & ‘incredible’ on four of those five occasions. But yet, in the aftermath when I’ve finally shifted them out of my apartment, I wonder about all the energy I’ve put in, in order to fuck them. It’s gone beyond the point of considering of what I could achieve if I channelled the energy I spent on getting these women into bed, to literally having no time left most days. Go to work, exercise & meet or fuck a girl. By the time she leaves, I only have time to prepare for the next day, shower & sleep.

I’ve often referenced my time in the previous central European state as the benchmark for my sexual achievements. When I first arrived there, I was a hungry man. A burning desire to make love to these new foreign women; a treasure trove of higher quality women than my home country could ever offer without some eventually discovered caveat coming to light. It was like being drunk with pleasure when I slept with the RussianWitch, got jacked off by the Lithuanian lawyer, or fucked the Latvian girl who came over in her little dress over my kitchen counter. I was an utter boss, & an unstoppable, ruthless beast to match.

My lifestyle now puts those times into the dim shade. I’ve multiplied everything by two or three, barely having any time to myself. My approach has become systemic, with girls from all over the world. I have occasions where I receive so many messages from the various women I’m seeing, I literally lose thirty minutes of whatever I was previously doing. The amount of sex I have now verges on absurdity. And that’s not a boast; I’m genuinely wondering if I should cut most of these people off, because I’m incapable of not exchanging energy with these people. But even if I did, I know myself I’d just start making contacts again & filling my schedule once again. Sunday’s are literally an evening where for whatever reason, I have this uncontrollable compulsion to fill my week with a whole string of girls. Suddenly I’m going from rested on Sunday evening, to utterly exhausted on a Friday. And I mean exhausted. Earlier today I felt like I could have just slept for the entire night from six in the evening. As I type this, my eyes are weighing heavily, my only desire to go to bed.

There’s something inside me that drives me to not allow a moment to be wasted. Even on the rare occasions I haven’t arranged to meet someone, I find myself planning to do a couple of things I need to catch up on. Before I know it, I’ve somehow got sucked into a whole bunch of unplanned tasks & suddenly it’s eleven or after in the evening & I have to get my seven hours. Thank God I am sleeping quite well these days, otherwise I’m sure it would only be a matter of time before becoming ill.

Have I somehow forgotten how to appreciate what I have already? It doesn’t feel like that, although it seems I’m doing my best to accelerate everything & every available experience in my life to the absolute maximum. And that is what I’m not sure, is a good philosophy to continue to follow.

~ Unjaded