Making Snowballs

Carolina Sanchez, from Uruguay; a place where attractive women of good character are still possible to find.

Total confidence eases you through every situation. It will also clearly appear to the majority of who claim or appear to be confident, but have little below the surface – the growing redefinition of how ‘confidence’ is perceived. In an attention deficient world, only the immediate is considered, those who take the difficult path become stronger than anyone, providing you make the effort into dealing with the inevitable downturns those experiences not may, but will bring. There is no growth without pain.

Anyone. As time passes, we now have ‘experts’, televised at the ages of approximately twenty one. Although it is possible in extreme cases, a twenty one year old is an expert in nothing, more so than ever where the typical teenager is totally insulated from making their own mistakes – one of the main methods of getting to know oneself. We are dictated to in the name of profit, as to what is right & how we should be, which upon examination will usually be found to be nothing more than shaping us into optimal consumers.

Consider anyone who has made at least some effort to experience something beyond what is promoted disguised as consumerist cultures, & ask them what were the best experiences of their life. In the vast majority of cases, they’ll describe an experience or something intangible. No matter how much they enjoy it, I’m almost certain they won’t describe something they bought, unless it is connected to something intangible; a house for their family which by extension of seeing their family happy within it, makes them happy they bought it.

Experiences & moments large or small, are what make life worth living. I won’t dispute that access to good funding increases your options of different experiences substantially. But that is only one means of increasing your range of choices. Much in the same way as learning game will increase your chances & choice of women, the focus of belief in oneself, remembering the path to true self discovery, peace with oneself & then the ability to strive forward without self doubt in search of expanding your boundaries will open up far more options to you, as well as the possibility of financial rewards, creating a snowball effect.

I look around the environment I currently exist within, that of finance within a rich country & see many people who have a much or often more money than me. And while there are exceptional individuals, there are the majority who have effectively resigned from anything beyond what they now have. Their income is sufficient & their job is set, albeit for some token rank denominations & nominal yearly salary increases. Their sole focus is working for an organisation that takes their energy, time & enthusiasm, in exchange for a salary. When the corporation needs to restructure or they have reached retirement, they will be ushered on to the twilight phase of their lives, to slowly regret the years they lost to their previous employers. They are for all intents & purposes, already dead.

While we do of course need to work to exist in a debt controlled society, there are things you can do. Firstly, be aware. If there’s an issue in your life, don’t hide from it & address the root cause. For example if you have a health problem, ignore pharmaceuticals as much as you can & look for other solutions. Consider exercise, for both mental & physical issues. Be honest with yourself & look at yourself. Are you handicapping yourself subconsciously, or making excuses. I commonly hear the response “I don’t like XYZ exercise” when I am asked by someone what they should do to resolve a physical issue they’re not satisfied with. I don’t always like going to the gym each of the five days a week that I typically do, but I do because I like the results of how I feel & look.

Nothing of value or substance comes for free in life. Everything has a cost. Simplify your life wherever possible & stop making excuses. Forgetting about the constant stream of bullshit that we hear through the media or those surrounding us, & being honest with oneself is one of the best things you can ever do for yourself. It’s not easy to remove yourself from the status quo. Start with little things, gain that positive reinforcement & take another step forward each time. Over time, you’ll begin to see how absurd your old ways were & while admittedly subject to your current means, any level of success is possible if you are flexible, adaptable, honest with yourself, maintain your principles & be smart.

This week, I took home over five thousand dollars, for realistically working less than thirty hours. I was confronted with contracts worth six figures, to which I was ill prepared but came across honestly & confidently, resulting in a confidence from those decisions makers. I contacted companies in charge of millions of dollars worth of property, with proposals to film for next to nothing. I set in motion things that if they move forward, will result in playing with some of the best musicians of the past forty years. I slept with three different beautiful women from around the world, all of whom are infatuated with me. I organised a crew of talented professionals, all of whom are willing to work with me for free, because they believe in the project after I described it to them.

It was quite tiring. By Thursday I was preparing to sleep by nine in the evening, slumped in front of my fire, simply staring into the flames, too exhausted to even move. I stayed there for a hour, taking the time to contemplate should the thoughts enter my mind & enjoying the silence if they did not. At one point, I considered my life now; the raging whirlwind of forward moving uncertainty & how different things had been both five, ten & twenty years ago. I certainly was different at all those times & absolutely not the person I am now; almost in total disregard of peer or societal expectation. In each of those eras, in different ways I was a yaw of self hatred, self doubt, internalised anger & misunderstanding of a world in which I never seemed to fit into no matter what modifications I made to my demeanor. I am not the finished article now, but whatever I choose to do with my time now & in the future, I expect to be easier. As I experience more, I learn more. As I learn more, I understand more. As I understand more, I gain confidence to experience more.

~ Unjaded

Concentration & Accumulation

Generic Instagram chick of the day – keep an eye out for her sprawled shamelessly over a yacht near you soon.

As is always the way, when you stop caring about the opposite sex & get in touch with one’s self, the energy you accumulate from concentrating on the self emanates outwards & it becomes attractive to others. While recently my main priorities have been Venezuelan, my band’s debut support slot on an arena tour, consolidating my investments & maximising my effectiveness at the gym, I now find myself awash with options.

Too many in fact, both old & new. Right now, I have SPC on her third run after a couple of doubting moments on her side, Tunisian back in touch wanting to ‘come over’ sometime, a bisexual Swiss / Hungarian woman also after the same, a Uruguayan, a Polish high flyer, another Hungarian, an Israeli who likes to play games, a Russian, a South Korean, the old hot Estonian & a young Bosnian girl who wants me to ‘train’ her. It verges on the absurd & I really should cut off the one’s I’ve already had my way with in the interests of time, but the power of having control over all of them gets me off. I play a dangerous game at the best of times, but I should know when to pull the plug. When a girl decides not to talk to you anymore as a result of you ending it, it’s actually a blessing in many ways as you then no longer have to worry about any psycho moments.

Speaking of which, I purged my blocked list yesterday & within an hour the Uzbek Psycho had got back in touch. I quickly remember who that number had belonged to & rectified my mistake. At no point do I want unexpected visits arriving at my house, particularly when Venezuelan is visiting. That can often be somewhat stressful anyway & admittedly is often a concern of mine whenever I invite a girl over to my place. I even refrain from giving them my exact address in case they later reference it to my disadvantage.

I have often said I’ve felt as though I’m reaching the point of ending the hedonistic lifestyle I have maintained for the last few years but that’s usually because of a particular period I have then been experiencing. To think almost two years ago now I was considering remaining long term with someone who resulted in little more than a typical female idiot with big fake breasts. Don’t get me wrong, they were great fun & upon non-nostalgic reflection the other day, I realised I had maintained the facade with her because I liked banging her on a regular basis. Ironically, I taught her everything she knew; raw material I shaped into my own play thing. While I could have considered her emotions more, I was vindicated in my suspicions of her only being surface deep as she quickly worked her way through some more penis. All’s well that ends well however.

With knowledge & some honestly, one will quickly realise the hedonistic lifestyle is unsustainable. Much like a drug addict, one always seeks a harder high. While with women this may not be only pursuing more attractive versions, it can be becoming ever more ruthless with people. Once you get what you want, even if you like the person that’s only going to have a limited shelf life without intimacy. Even long term lovers or friends with benefits will have more to their arrangement than they might even be prepared to admit, because the physical thrill will only last a limited time. I am clear on this more than ever now, for a number of reasons confirmed through readings as well as experiences. Despite having a plethora of women historically & now to choose from, the girl I most desire is Venezuelan, because she is who I easily feel most comfortable to. That she is independently physically hot is a bonus but I know it wouldn’t be the same as it is now without that connection we have. It even manifests itself physically; when I’m finished with a girl to whom I only have a physical attraction & little more than a polite understanding with, when i’m done I’m done. I’m a considerate & even generous lover. But with no other woman except Venezuelan, will I finish & within moments want to do it again. That traverses biology & hasn’t happened to me with anyone else.

I remember reading once about the concept of ‘mini relationships’ when I started my game journey which led me to my self development journey (a far more worthwhile cause). While I have been through my ‘hardcore’ period of telling women what I want & don’t want, this can be a bit hit & miss. To be ambiguous about your level of interest is far more interesting to a woman & far more likely to garner you a wider range of women. It’s worth bearing in mind than the majority of (particular Western based) women in the mating pool allow precedence of the herd mentality over their own deep seated feelings. With the rare exceptions of those who’ve fallen through the net for whatever reason, most women consider peer acceptance as one of their main priorities. And for that reason, they’re generally very uninteresting people & doomed to be perpetually miserable.

To be fair however, this is also common among men & is a people thing, rather than a female thing. I only emphasise the male dating perspective as there are still those who come here for dating advice – something I do specialise in despite all my faults. Men also feel the need to be accepted by others, manifesting itself in ‘acceptable’ arenas such as sports, which replace the boredom that comes from times of peace, more so than ever when we can effectively have nothing to strive for when all of our needs are accounted for by the supermarket or the bank.

The modern age has resulted in this being refined down to the most basic of interactions, where quick exchanges provide a shallow version of the desired result, whether that be peer acceptance or validation of being wanted by someone (read ‘anyone’) of the opposite sex. The well documented failure of the latest worker generation in achieving any happiness of substantial depth tells you everything you need to know about how social interactivity is right now & although this is endemic in the latest generation old enough to participate in society, the normalisation of this means existing, older generations do (at least in part) feel as though they must adapt to these new models of interaction in order to have any success. Much like the proliferation of online dating which has for all intents & purposes become the standard means of dating now instead of the practice of asking someone on a date & which was derided when it first emerged, no one sends a letter when an email will do.

Inversely, those who do make the effort to differentiate themselves from the crowd by using more traditional methods, can find themselves highly valued but critically, only to someone else who might appreciate it. And even then, there’s no guarantee the recipient will discontinue these other methods they are using, such as online dating to ensure a woman gets a regular supply of attentions, validation or cock. Much in the same way it’s said you’ll see the true nature of a man when you give him true power, you’ll see the true nature of a woman when she’s able to flex her vagina to the endless hordes of hungry, undignified, gameless men found online. I have seen & personally experienced this countless times through first hand experience; fortunately always placing myself on the side of he who is not emotionally involved & taking it for what it is. On more than one occasion for example, have I fucked a girl only for her to have come from or about to go on a date. The Ecuadorian women I was seeing had done exactly this, inviting me over for sex prior to a date she was having. As it turned out, she confided in me that she liked this guy she was seeing & thought it was getting serious, as I laid next to her moments after she’d finished me all over her chest. The following week, she texted me to say things with him were ‘getting serious’ & she couldn’t see me anymore as she ‘wanted to give it a try with him’. I even played along, eager to see how far she’d take it if I offered her everything on her terms. I proposed to her that I’d be happy to fuck her whenever she wanted, at her convenience, alongside her seeing her boyfriend. Needless to even say, it wasn’t surprising at all when she agreed to the idea. The temptation of having her cake & eating it, was way too much for her to resist. I didn’t follow through of course, instead focusing my attention elsewhere. We briefly spoke again a few months later & predictably, her attempt at the relationship had died a slow, miserable death.

This sabotage of misery people employ on themselves via the voluntary participation in these processes, decimates their self esteem as the essence of interaction completely goes missing & these experiences become transactionary. This runs through every aspect of what happens between people, even beyond the scope of sexuality that we are discussing here. Colleagues, friends & family are all affected likewise & so we conclude that the epidemic of transactional relationships is unfortunately commonplace now. As such, we have to treat people for what they are & when we speak of ‘game’, we speak indeed of playing the game. Going through the motions & saying the things people want to hear, with only enough of our true selves within each sentence, each touch & each exchange in order to make it appear convincingly authentic, despite this poor substitute not being what anyone really wants.

Should you find that genuine, authentic connection within another in any type of relationship, providing you have experienced & uncomfortably pushed oneself enough to know yourself well, you will recognise it & in the ideal scenario, the other will also be as you.

~ Unjaded

More. Less. The Rest In The Middle

Assuming characteristic attributes are as expected, either of these should be sufficient.

Assuming characteristic attributes are as expected, either of these should be sufficient.

Now then my fine readers, (assuming you haven’t all completely lost interest, leaving only Zan & I reading our own pieces), allow me to explain to you what no doubt you’ve been wondering for most of your lives until now; why do we get some incredibly attractive (I’m talking nine to nine & a halves here) saying they never get men showing interest in them?

Well, firstly let’s translate this from from the unnecessarily obtuse dialect of ‘woman’ into correct wording. When they say ‘never’, they are of course not counting the assortment of men who register their interest for sex with them on a near daily basis. A lot of them will be referring to what they might describe as ‘quality men’.

‘But hold on’ I hear you cry, as your face screws itself into a understandably disputing manner. ‘Her definition of a quality man is entirely subjective!’ Indeed you are correct good sir, the layman can never been expected to know what a woman considers attractive.

Or can we? OK, pompous veneer aside now; of course we actually can make a reasonable assessment case to case. A lot of the early manosphere was dedicated to the concepts of ‘peacocking’, ‘negging’ & in lieu of real confidence, performance bravado. This had it’s place in the evolution of the manosphere & we wouldn’t be where we are today without it, but those concepts simply lead on to the knowing of oneself. The investigation, understanding & improvement of the self is the centre of increasing the general means of increasing your attractiveness to women & secondly, the understanding on a case by case basis what a particular woman might find attractive.

Personally, I’ve discovered maximising your strengths to be more prominent, while minimising your weaknesses to appear less obvious is a good strategy. You can also choose to go a step further & improve those weaknesses if you wish, but I’ve found this to be something more to do with general development than attraction focused development. In attraction focused development, you’re looking to strengthen the general characteristics that are visible when looking to attract women; posture, wit, knowledge, energy & overall confidence. That confidence should be backed up with real reasons, rather than a relatively transparent front but should essentially be the core reasons fueling your outward facing confidence. General development is also something a man should endeavour to pursue but has to be evaluated on two fronts; the time investment against the tangible benefit & secondly, weighing up if it cannot be compensated for by other existing skill. For example, someone who can form & lead great teams isn’t going to need to learn every aspect of his project, but someone more naturally inclined to the granular detail of a specific area might still want to concentrate on being a specialist in this. He then only needs to enhance his communication skills to a competent level, rather than trying to become an expert in something he has no passion for. But in either case, general development is more focused upon the optimisation of the self. Women aren’t going to be impressed with your shell scripting skills.

Furthermore, situationally what women are more likely to be impressed by is if you are different to what they regularly encounter. If you’re in the office trying to impress a co-worker, it’s probable her attraction is going to lean towards someone more alternative; a ‘bit of rough’ if you will. Similarly, if you’re interested in a barmaid, simply not being a drunk dickhead will most likely sway her more to your direction.

Now, coming back to the original point we look back to these points above. Without self development & a genuine foundation of confidence, high level women are going to mostly be impenetrable (in every sense of the word). Remember we are talking about ultra high quality women here; raised by a good, supportive family who have taught her the definition of real love & so her not having any major issues from previous idiotic partners – if you’ve been lucky enough to receive genuine unconditional love from someone in your life, it’s likely you’ll be one of two ways. Either you’ll be acutely aware of this & unwilling to accept anything less than the highest calibre of relationship – a form of abstention that surprisingly can still rarely be found; mostly among the highest quality of women as mentioned before. I have encountered men who also have this approach though, & the majority of them are incredibly successful. They’ve eschewed wasting time with the delusional majority making up the female dating pool & instead channeled that pent up energy  into another focus, such as money accumulation or becoming an expert in another area. Unfortunately, the less strong willed can sometimes find the unreleased energy becomes contorted & escapes into other, unhealthy interests. This is where we see very twisted behaviour that practically anyone would disagree with, so personally I feel a balanced approach is required; do your shit & don’t forget to get some fucking in.

The second manifestation of knowing genuine love, is similar in that the person sees how prospective partners fail to reach these admittedly high (yet correctly so) standards. But in this case, they still give these partners a chance in a relationship; & possibly from not wanting to be alone, because of their hopeful nature or not having the willpower to steadfastly hold to an alternative path in life, will end up jumping from person to person.

From our perspective, the difference between these two approaches by such people helps us assess the character & identify what type of character we are looking at & if they are suitable for our goals; getting laid or something more substantial. Being able to identify an attractive woman & differentiate between the two is going to mean more yield by effort expended. It’s also going to help you understand who to expend effort upon, akin to the Sniper Rifle approach but also generally useful.

Frankly, the girls who fall into the second category are going to be even easier to nail than not just the former category, but girls generally. As I’ve said before, I don’t make the rules of the game, I just play it & the game means girls like this are, due to their various disappointments going to attach less significance to the prospect of having sex with you than either the abstainers (of course) but also your general woman. A typical woman struggles in her own mind trying to balance the urge to get fucked against her moral perception of herself. Despite what feminists may say, this nagging doubt always exists in the typical woman because sleeping with various partners is not a part of their biological makeup. So again typically, they will try to adhere to these conflicts in their heads by withholding sex to men they ‘like’. The disillusioned girl of beauty who has known a parental love is likely to be more attractive & more open to sex. It’s a little bit tragic in a way but frankly, it’s the way the world works & some men undergo exactly the same thing. I can personally say I know what proper love is from my grandmother & so I won’t accept anything less as a result. Despite my apparent blossoming addiction to sleeping with a variety of women, even now there still exists a part of me that’d love a kick ass, super hot, loyal & awesome girlfriend who hasn’t fucked half of the country & their brother. The simple bottom line is, I’ve been with many women & see what even the supposed most loyal women are capable of, & it’s fucking heartbreaking. So I use the majority of them simply for what they’re worth, while securing my own position with my own work.

Even with my knowledge, the likelihood of me finding that seems remote. If I were to find a girl fitting that description, she’s likely to come from the initially described category of woman, who are tough to find & even if found, are tough to acquire. You have to be at a high level of self development, internally as well as externally. These make up what I would estimate in my experience as approximately the five percent of women who are actually worth settling down with. The closest I’ve found to someone like this was probably early-era EEP (probably an eight or nine minus the latter phase regression into psychosis) or BM-13 (probably an eight). But I intend to finalise this search with a minimum nine, & that’s only because I’ve learnt to be tolerant & ten’s don’t exist.

Perhaps I have high standards, but they’re equally as high for myself & I shouldn’t accept anything less. If you can honestly say you’re doing the best you can in your life, neither should you.

~ Unjaded