The Perfect Opportunity

It’s Samantha Hoopes! Very attractive in posed shots; somewhat more ‘girl next door’ in normal shots…

The perfect opportunity is only spoke of retrospectively. Although we may well have good opportunities as we pass through life, much like a football manager who sets up his team with what he believes to be an undefeatable formation, the end result will only he determined by how well it is executed by his players, how the opposing formation is arranged & how well the opposition’s players conduct their formation. Irrespective of how well one have prepared or have knowledge of a situation, one must still have fortune in his favour. Many wars were determined by little more than a difference in technological development, including as recently as the second World War. Without meaning to trivialise the terrible loss of life of any country involved in that terrible time, the Japanese were simply not anticipating something of the power found in a nuclear bomb. If you do not have knowledge of what to expect, one can only prepare to a certain degree. It may well be that the football manager of a far less financially able team does in fact arrange a perfect formation, yet means prevent him from little more than a respectable defeat. There is only so much you can do, & the metric of your success & self esteem should be internally based. In the end, the race is only against yourself.

Somewhat related, is that people tend to only look forward, from when they were born. The millennials among us today may well never know what it is to ask a girl out face to face or pick up a girl in a club. Minor points, but when scaled up, quite serious. Division & fear among the masses are the goals of those with interests, usually financial; shut up & be good little consumers. The ‘threat’ of ‘terrorism’ is the same as the spectre of communism that stupid people wholeheartedly took arms against; despite it having absolutely zero effects on their own lives. Who cares if another, utterly separate country decides to use a different governmental approach to your own? Given how borders operate, you certainly shouldn’t – but who stands to lose if people decide to adopt a community based model which is effectively untaxable? Those who benefit from consumerism, ignorance & division.

I have often thought about how making the internet widely & almost freely available was something the powers that be would consider a big mistake; something that threatens the entire capitalist consumer model if you use it wisely. While I personally do have a level of practical & useful experience in information technology, even those who don’t can benefit from what is effectively a repository of hive information. Moreover, so, so much is available if you choose to accept it. Books, music, film & almost any type of transmissible media is yours, should you wish to take it.

But people don’t, because they are persuaded that the existing models of media will cease to exist & there will be no more means to deliver art. Publishers won’t be able to afford publishing books, record labels won’t release music anymore & we won’t get anymore films. While not all can learn (with technology being released faster than some can adapt to it) or wish for an easy medium at risk of draconian measures otherwise, moving forward we can theoretically see a massive shift that will only be halted by regulation.

I understand why some people might feel intimidated by for example, streaming a football match online for free, rather than paying the extortionate rates that are now in place in certain countries. An array of pop ups, misleading alerts trying to get you to inadvertently install malware & the like, can be very intimidating for someone typically only using trusted corporate sites for social media & email. But the absolute worst are those who claim to choose to pay for such things from a supposed moral standpoint; to gain a few more ‘points’ over their peers as they claim to be ‘supporting artists’ or similar. Yet these same motherfuckers, are never to be seen at for example, local shows or behind upcoming initiatives to support new talent. What they’re effectively doing is just lining the pockets of Beyonce, Jay Z & their contemporaries cartels of hangers on who carve out their existence by association.

Look at almost any situation. Too many people start downloading films – film productions start guilt tripping people into ‘supporting cinemas’ instead of piracy. Hey, give me five hundred bucks & I’ll rig up a whole town a free cinema forevermore.

Look at employment – the promotion system is the most patronising means of making someone feel appreciated without having to pay them anymore. Wait until the shit hits the fan & someone (including your hiring manager) has to cut someone. Do you honestly think he’s going to cut himself?

Look at governments. Need a way to present raising the minimum wage or cutting spending on public services? Simply talk about how we must all ‘club together’ & accept austerity measures. No more centrally funded public libraries. Road tax seemingly not being used to maintain roads anymore & so on. But how often do you hear about the people with some level of power, voluntarily taking a cut in their own salary; to lead by example?

Everything that is tried to be enacted, is based upon dredging up some kind of obligatory moral duty, that ultimately comes from people trying to be decent human beings. Everything is designed in fear of organisation, rejection of the status quo & creating a new, inherent human value based way of life.

Dig enough in anything & you’ll see anyone who is personally demeaned or anything that is labelled as a threat, only becomes so as soon as someone’s income is threatened.

~ Unjaded

The Beautiful Past

Wise & generally true words from Mark Rippetoe; strength of mind also counting here…

As much as the fire within me seeks to push myself onwards to explore & breach ever new limits, it comes at a price. When almost everything is demanding of my time & energy, then becomes the time where I question what I am doing. It’s more often the case with things I must do, rather than choose to do. When I’m at work & people are complaining at me because of the mistakes of others in the past or as a result of bad managerial decisions, it’s then where my sense of self begins to rise up & question why. Why I should sit there & accept levels of disrespect about things which ultimately are of no consequence. People losing their shit over a report not being generated when species of animals around the world are becoming extinct & corporations try ever more ways to gain more control over us until we become the perfect consumers.

Contrast that with the endless amounts of energy you will find within yourself when you discover & participate in something where there is a marked goal & you feel part of a group where you are making tangible progress. Sleepless or hungry, somehow you might even not realise you need those things, so consumed are you from enjoying what you are doing,

The only consistent cost one will find, is whatever you do, you will miss something. There is always the opportunity cost. And while the grass is indeed often seemingly greener on the other side & nostalgia will always be viewed more positively than it really was, there is a lot of truth to the fact that many of the things we have, or indeed have had; will one day no longer be there.

The relationship you have with your parents, your partner or even something as simple as a pet you care for, will all one day be gone or even taken from you. As I sit there, toiling away upon something for no other reason than financial reward, I think about the passing minutes & how I could be wasting them. What else I could be doing. Who else I could be spending time with. What other goal I could be working towards.

Because in the end, it’s those same simple things that will have made your life worth living.

~ Unjaded

Forward Moving Change

Remember this? Doesn’t really seem too common these days.

Here we are again in the middle of January, & the approach for the new year is to be proactive, understanding that despite one’s best efforts some things are simply down to change & so to enjoy downtime to the full in the meantime.

While one often starts a year year by removing some things from their lifestyle in line with what we’ve been conditioned to think is ‘a good thing’; not drinking, not eating fatty foods & so on. But in reality, it’s our life & we should live it as we choose to. If you enjoy those things, go ahead & do them. But any change has a cost; every sword with two edges. Nothing is wholly good or beneficial to oneself, although there are some things that can be of benefit to all parties. At the very least, one will lose time.

My other focus from this year onward is that of quality & doing things for the self. We live in a world where everyone is competing for your attention & everything is analysed down to the most minute detail in order to get it. The net result is sanitisation, where we only have perfectly prepared options in plain view. Venture further beneath the obvious in any area & you’re bound to find something more interesting; usually independent artists who aren’t overly interested in trying to force themselves upon you.

A focus on quality output is the way forward I believe. In an age of over saturation from the proliferation of affordable technology, one can best present themselves in a way truly satisfactory to themselves, with integrity & honesty. In the words of Macho Man Randy Savage, ‘the cream will always rise to the top’.

In line with this new approach, I’ve also trimmed down any risky sex assets. SPC is finally out of the picture after her latest attempt to push for more, although happily it was an OK parting of ways after I didn’t profess my love for her, instead of my honest opinion which was that I liked her & care about her, & obviously liked fucking her (didn’t specifically mention that part like that!) but wasn’t interested in more.

Honestly we had a good connection & it could’ve had potential in different circumstances. If I was for whatever reason stuck where I am or intending to stay here forever & looking for a relationship, she was one of the best options I could consider. Unbelievably it had been two years we’d been seeing each other, after I originally had approached her in my office kitchen as she changed the coffee in the coffee machine. We wouldn’t have gone on that long if there wasn’t something there. But irrespective of already having one of the best relationship options I could hope for, I have absolutely no intention of staying in what is effectively a village full of emotionally retarded people , no matter how much money is on offer. I want life in my face. To feel the spirit of people around me. To be surrounded by those who positively challenge me to yet further limits. This, is the last place possibly on earth that will either do that or enrich me in another way.

Furthermore, the relationship with the Uruguayan woman I had been seeing, came to an end after an ultimatum of me needing to give more. One month later, she was back in touch plainly stating she missed the sex, which I must admit was very good. There’s something about having a forty four year old Latina devour your penis with a great deal of enthusiasm, despite the typical drawbacks of a woman of that age. I haven’t decided if I’ll revisit that, as there are a number of new candidates coming into the picture & I don’t want to waste too much time or energy on women this year.

Yes indeed, there we are. The focus on quality also extends henceforth to who I sleep with, as the enthusiasm for me doing that continues to decrease with each passing year. Don’t get me wrong; the libido is as strong as ever. Switching to a low carb diet, high natural fat & otherwise clean diet since the beginning of the year has made me hornier than ever. But the bullshit one must go through in order to get to that stage is often tiring. And even with a relatively conservative, efficient approach to dating, the costs soon add up in a place where everything is expensive. Even if I was living in a place with financial options, my main concern is the waste of energy & time in dating people with whom while they may be nice enough as people, they’re just simply not very interesting. While I appreciate a lot of people are concerned about how they come across particularly in a first meeting, it’s becoming more & more true that people are getting less & less interesting. Perhaps it’s the proliferation & central role that social media has taken in the normalisation in the newer generations as they don’t know any different & the resulting rounding off of any interesting ‘edges’ of people, as their actions are checked online by others. The virtue of youth also has the downfall of insecurity most of the time, & as anything that might make someone a bit unusual may indeed make them distinctly interesting as well, we could be losing some of that. Certainly dating, can be dull in the short term as you hear how everyone is angelic & looking for a ‘serious relationship’, & then after some sex that changes their whole perception of what they thought it was, firstly you are effectively threatened with their withdrawal if you don’t commit more to the ‘relationship’ they’ve convinced themselves you’re having, & then after some time providing everything ended relatively fine & no one else is sniffing around, before long you’ll get a message primed to see if you’re still up for fucking them.

My experiences in dating in the past year but also generally, have shown me that my theory of people becoming less interesting in these days, is generally true.

My focus on quality is largely fueled by what I choose to put energy into; not from a lack of it, but my input against the output I receive. I’m bored to death here but in much the same vein as the earlier metaphor of everything having a cost, the cost of being bored is the time, incentive & ability to focus upon a new venture or skill development. While I’m as much into sex as ever, I’m less inclined than ever to jump through hoops to get a girl naked & into me, when for me it’s become no more than a easily obtainable & exchangeable asset.

~ Unjaded

The Shoehorn

Appreciate this might not be for everyone, but here we have Emily Skye, who as far as I’m concerned as the perfect female body. I can’t even look at some pictures of her for too long, before I start shouting uncontrollably.

The shoehorn is what people do to themselves because of perceived societal or peer expectations, & the fear of being excluded. Much like an equation, if simplified this means one is doing something out of fear.

Fear is the precise emotion anyone who wishes to control you feeds upon & takes advantage of. If there is a mass murderer on the loose in your vicinity, people worry about them until they have been caught. The prospect, however remote, modifies the actions of the fearful people. Governments, companies, institutions & charities act exactly the same. Opportunistic governments seize upon threats that cannot be easily quantified or embodied, such as communism, terrorism or whatever other ‘ism’ is en vogue & easiest to substantiate at that time.

Corporates use this every day, to scare you into thinking of the worst case scenario where if you lose your job, your entire life will collapse. If you lose your job, you won’t be able to pay your mortgage, your wife will leave you & your friends / peers will question your standing or integrity.

Institutions & charities utilise the same tactics to relieve you of any extra cash through threats about what could happen, if you don’t pay X, Y or Z made up charge in the former case, & playing on guilt in the second case. In reality, any charge can simply be made up & if people accept it, it will continue to be. Look at the charges for letting / renting called administration charges, reference checks & so on, all wildly overvalued & totally unjustified. Tell me why there needs to be any institution charging a tax for internet usage; that is, a institution that has nothing to do with the upkeep, regulation or maintenance of the internet. Where is the money going? A reason will be presented, that will be framed using or creating a perceived fear. That reason will be weighted against the cost for you; fully considered by the originator of said cost – financial or otherwise. Although the stakes are always being quietly raised to extract as much out of you as possible, too much of a jump is still not generally considered acceptable.

Certain countries allow tracking of their citizens internet usage, using terrorism as the justification. Control through debt or fear of debt is rampant & commonplace.

When we talk of approaching a woman in the street or elsewhere, we all have experienced that feeling of trepidation. It may have been when you were inexperienced or towards a particularly attractive girl. Or perhaps you did it before & she was a bitch about it, & then you struggled with it ever since. But we get over that fear by acknowledging the worst possible realistic scenario.

If she refuses you, you should be proud you mustered up the courage to approach her – you’ve already done more than the typical man.

If she gives you her number & then never replies to you, then delete it again. You take heart from aforementioned approach that was this time successful & that you have quickly identified her as an unreliable flake & therefore saved time that could have otherwise been wasted or even detrimental to your mental health further along the line.

She’s a bitch when you approach her? Same as above, but greater. Thank God she was unstable enough not to mask this so that you were able to quickly realise. Don’t validate her by allowing it to upset you. An ideal response would be to calmly inform her that an attractive outside doesn’t compensate for an ugly character by any measure, & then continue with your day.

What’s the worst that can happen if you don’t pay an internet charge from a legally ratified fraudster agency? Your internet can be cut off. The solution is to go & buy an internet enabled phone with prepaid sim, which is not then tied directly to an address & can be used as a hotspot. There’s more to it than that, but one of many examples.

Your boss likes to use fear to motivate instead of respect or leadership? In most developed societies, it will be very hard for you to be made entirely destitute, even if he finds an excuse to terminate your contract. Prepare for such an eventuality by ensuring your life is mobile & lean; the majority of us can do without half the rubbish we surround ourselves with, as a lot of it is brought due to a deep lying unhappiness with our day to day lives, brought on by such things I mention above. We buy these things because we’re trying to unconsciously justify to ourselves what we are doing with our time.

Your peers, friends or wife leaves you because you came upon hard times, such as losing your job? What a blessing you will waste no more time with materialistic cunts that claim to be within your circle, yet jump ship at the earliest opportunity. Finally, you are free to follow a path of your own choosing & redesign your life as you truly desire, no longer bound to anything or anyone. Ideally, you would have already placed safeguards in your life through a prenuptial agreement & downsizing your belongings to the most essential. But fear not, that if there may be a problem in that you went in with foolish blind faith, there is a solution to every problem. While I don’t have children myself & am likely never to do so due it producing an unsolvable link upon another, I do appreciate how there may be a feeling of obligation towards children, & this is respectable. Coming back to my point before though, if you find yourself trapped in an entirely unreasonable situation such as one that you may find yourself in following a divorce & bound to utterly unreasonable financial commitments, think of alternatives. It may even be worth moving country entirely & should you feel a debt to your children, make arrangements for informal payments directly to the child. Hilariously, if you feel you must stay you could even propose to pay your child support in voucher form, so as to increase the chances of directly paying for your child & not the bitch that is gouging you to finance her own lifestyle.

It’s a complicated matter & every situation is different, but my point is that every situation or problem can be turned into an opportunity or solution. By now, I’m convinced people are looking for excuses for how they are or how they feel they’ve failed, because they feel they haven’t reached certain perceived standards. But those perceived standards are often false; a consensus emerges from the hive mind & to which no one can truly become. Every person’s opportunity cost ensures that – a bodybuilder cannot also be an effective long distance runner & in much the same way, a man cannot be everything. Believe me, I’ve tried. However, anything is possible, & many allow themselves to be deluded into thinking there are only the ways that are established, when confronted with a challenge. But in any area, the conditioning of your own mentality should allow you to see through these & determine your own course of action.

While we may live with regret, we do not have to endure it.

~ Unjaded

A Turning Point

Hoover optional.

Hoover optional.

It’s only through the recovery from pain, that we find new resources within ourselves.

It’s only through making mistakes, that we know if we made the correct choices or not.

It’s only through the exploration of ourselves, when we hit the absolute bottom, that we know our true capabilities.

It’s only through exercising control, that we realise how much control over ourselves we really have.

Every time I’ve tried to lift myself in these past weeks, I’ve hit a certain high, only to come crashing back down again, to what seems as hard as ever. But thinking about it in the cold light of day, every time I hit the bottom again, it wasn’t as bad as the last time.

Sure, it hurt like fuck every time. I don’t think I’ve cried as much in my life as I have in these last four weeks. I’ve certainly never felt the energy physically drain from my body when yet another downward cycle was triggered. The combination of factors has, I have realised illuminated a lot to me about myself.

For example, I now realise I can happily maintain a range of lifestyles. With the strict proviso that I have a certain amount of stability in place. I need an active, money earning business or career which occupies my thoughts with purpose.

I need a stable environment, which I can call my own & has privacy. I need it to be secure, & not somewhere widely identifiable. Preferably inconspicuous & with a wide range of vision, but only from the inside. I also need to spend time outside in the countryside.

It’s very bad for me to stay in touch with someone who I break up with. Social media makes this far too easy now. It’s also very bad for me to have too much time on my hands alone, particularly when a tragic or depressing event has taken place recently.

It is however important for me to arrange to meet people, to spend time with proper friends, to take a holiday, travel or visit old friends.

I don’t need to be with someone. But I should not cast aside what make me happy, in fear of it ending one day or being hurt. I should not dismiss notions such as having a family because of the potential for it to one day go wrong. As the band Poison The Well once wrote;

The easy solution to this and everything else is to move on. It comes equipped with the last word.

Although the pain can be unimaginably bad, the thoughts of failure worse still & the prospect of having to feel that same feeling repeatedly with no better outcome ever coming, worse than all; we must not live our lives through fear.

During these last dark few weeks, I met with many people & it’s incredible how much you can learn during these times. Perhaps it’s because we are so low, we are desperately searching for anything that might bring us some release from the never ending pain & so, we actually really listen.

Perhaps it’s because of our desperation, we feel we no longer have to hide behind an ego & have nothing to lose. We sit there with others & open ourselves entirely, whereby they then feel compelled to share what they have previously learnt when they’ve been in similar situation. It’s surprising when you realise how many other people have been crushingly low. How many other people who have also seriously contemplated wildly drastic actions when they were where you are now.

Yet they are there now, sat in front of you & happy now. It shows you it’s possible to recover. It may take a long time, but it’s possible.

Regardless of how your own situation evolves, as long as you continue & don’t forget what you have learnt, you become stronger.

As I mentioned in the previous post, the world of relationships are now more at risk than ever. I see many men moving their families out to obscure places in the middle of nowhere to reduce the likelihood of their wives cheating or leaving them, putting them in isolation. I understand this.

But let’s not live our lives in fear. We should embrace everything life has to offer, & embrace every evolution of ourselves we discover along the way. Do anything, & it will never be an easy journey. But you must do everything to keep moving forward.

For me, I woke up yesterday & for some reason felt close to tears. That feeling lasted almost the whole day. But then something happened. I made the choice to fight through it, possibly inspired by the acting of the French actress Marion Cotillard in the Belgium film Two Days, One Night I’d watched the previous night; simply one of the greatest portrayals of the struggles of dealing with depression I’ve ever seen.

I found the most positive hardcore music I could find, with many songs I knew had given me strength. I made a list of all the things I had neglected during these last weeks & dealt with them all. Somehow, I’ve still managed to purchase another property, have several interviews with other companies, be made a job offer (in yes, the Americas – but not through my current consultancy), stay in good shape, organise a holiday & reforged bonds with good friends. All while being in another country & struggling with emotional trauma day in & day out.

At times, it’s much harder to see than others, even when things are good. We always have a choice.

I had a sometimes difficult but sometimes amazing life until now.

Don’t give up. I very almost did. And however things work out, I’m glad I didn’t.

~ Unjaded