Jesus Christ *cough* Welcome to Jimena Sanchez from Mexico FOX….

Apologies for the late post; I like to keep a weekly schedule these days but when you’re without a moment to spare for almost the entire duration of your time away from home, the problem is not so much the intermittent internet but more the complete lack of time or privacy to actually write anything.

However one thing I had in abundance these last two weeks was acute experiences, from a variety of perspectives. For the first time in my life, I experienced a taste of what it’s like to be famous & revered somewhat. Of course, this was only a little bit of what established celebrities experience regularly but it was really a surreal experience, particularly as I sit here back in the same seat before any of this happened.

In summary, my musical project took a step up. An endeavour that was intended to advance us in some way to the next level, did so in an entirely unprecedented way, where one could describe it as being throw up a whole flight of steps. A hardcore fan base was made over the course of two weeks in a place where we’d previously been unheard of. Over these two weeks, an insane collage of stress, euphoria, energy & chaos flew by, accompanied by an array of endless faces, hands to be shaken & pictures alongside new found fans.

It reminded me first hand, of how something so small can mean so much to another. I typically take the view of assuming most people are predominantly concerned with others by way of seeing how much they can gain from that person. But I think this is a symptom of my cynicism as much as a form of preemptive defence. While I prefer this instead of getting screwed over constantly from being nice to everyone & being thought of as naive or gullible as a younger man, it does again come down to the application of balance; something many of us only develop with experience. Namely, realising who & when to give what & how.

Being abroad in a country & receiving so much love as a new artist was incredible really. You could see how they really believed in us; how they were looking for something real, rather than the fake, cynical substitutes they have to make do with most of the time instead. To be able to project yourself & your energy onto others & receive the same or more back is an incredible feeling only available to the fortunate few, & something I’m very appreciative of.

Much in the same way as how crowds in our base country were totally unemotive & disconnected from what we were doing onstage due to their apathetic attitudes brought about by total availability & satisfaction, the people were much the same way. Where we toured is a developed country, with some heavily undeveloped areas which bring about a number of challenges. No job is guaranteed & if you don’t work, there’s a far greater possibility you won’t eat. Musicians don’t tend to pass through as often, as they’re not getting vast sums of money promised to them. When they do pass through, you can see it’s often cynical in the same way as a corporation looks at a deprived country as a business opportunity while offering nothing of substantive value in return. They arrive, perform, take their pay packet & disappear back to where they came from without a moment’s more notice. Taking the time to engage with these people who have real challenges in life & listen to them properly is one of the most rewarding activities in life, celebrity or otherwise.

Back here in the worst place you’ve ever been, without purpose one can rapidly feel lost. I can totally understand everyone’s need to make money; it is central to modern day life. But when you’re torturing yourself in an existence you can’t stand & don’t have any meaning beside the accumulation of products or money in your life, you’re gonna have a bad time. Having means without having purpose is akin to having nothing at all.

The culture pervades through the people of the respective countries too. The first day away we arrived in a major city, I found myself having a beautiful, femininely dressed girl, perhaps ten years my junior smiling at me. I had to do a double take to make sure I wasn’t imagining it, particularly as I didn’t look particularly good that day. She was superb; a little auburn headed beauty with a sweet but naughty smile. That alone was enough to lift my spirits & return me to a state of remembering how miserable & apathetic I had allowed myself to become because of others. Despite my knowledge of frame, a internally based self esteem & how I shouldn’t allow idiots to affect me, I has allowed the miserable, unfulfilled wasters to seep into my own mentality.

Fortunately the benefit of perspective gained from being away from routine has helped me considerably, & I am back to being myself. I see now that when you have everything available to you (much in the way a woman using a dating app now has endless choices), they become apathetic about everything & in fact, it is nothing to do with you. While I have mastered this part, I have previously paid the price through shutting down & applying a complete approach to everyone. Being close or presumptuously aggressive to everyone by default is as bad as coming across as naive & gullible; the net result of both is negative.

The girls generally don’t smile at me here. I’ve caught a few looking for an extended period of time, but then they look away as though showing interest is a bad thing. The ego takes over as showing interest means showing interest is what they perceive as showing weakness; the “I don’t need you” mentality of modern feminism has become endemic, as people (firstly women, & then men in reaction to that) isolate themselves to interacting with others.

The main thing I realised while away, is that I stay where I do mainly because my life is quite easy here & I can make money that enables me to do what I want to do. I fit in to the extent where I can maintain a low profile while doing what I want to do. I have often considered how it might be if I went elsewhere but while here, I can create a life as I wish. It doesn’t depend upon the locals, what they think of me or anything other than what I wish. Creation of one’s life is entirely within the realm of decision making, providing you take into consideration what cards has dealt you, the process of which requires you to put aside your ego & remember to not allow the negative people among us to shut you down to the extent where you may miss out upon an opportunity to engage with another who exists within that same realm or environment.

The resistance to societies expectations is one stage of self improvement. But true strength comes from being able to apply the correct emotion with enough heart, at the right times to the right people. It sounds easy but it’s not – mainly because you won’t necessarily realise that which you may have missed as a result of not addressing this problem within yourself.

Give appreciation where it’s required to the people who feed it back to you, & watch your life unfold in ways you may never have really envisioned. The rest is just a means to an end.

~ Unjaded

Delay Of Game

Sarah Allen, actually a reasonably typical Australian based on my recent experiences, detailed below…

Yes, you are indeed right if you noted a lack of a post last week. It was because I went to a couple of countries in South East Asia for a holiday & despite my best intentions there were so many things I had to sort out before I left, I didn’t even have time to put together a rough draft.

As for my reasons of not writing something while there, I am left with far less justifications & will instead just have to defer to being lazy. I was also with Venezuelan which somewhat restricted suitable private opportunities to write. But frankly speaking, I was fucking exhausted & needed to get away from everything for a while, only to return with a renewed vigour.

And here we are, rested & ready to share with you my inevitable notes from my second foray into the Asian continent. When I say ‘rested’ however, I do of course refer to my mental state, rather than the physical where I am on my third flight of what has basically been a thirty six hour day. But onward we go!

Thailand. Famous for it’s sex industry, inpressively authentic ladyboys, royal family & kickboxers. As one explores, we are treated to a true cauldron of life, where chaos reigns but someone, life moves forward. Bangkok; a hub for the region & an immense, sprawling behemoth of a city. The recently expired king seemed like a resonably good man (despite it being practically illegal to say otherwise) & one can say he has at the very least managed to instill a tolerance of the numerous drunken fools & sexual parasites that come in their droves to a city that is hungry for any & all of the tourist money.

Thai women can indeed be very beautiful, with the deciding factor often being the nose; either quite bulbous are the more disappointing end of the spectrum or slimmer at the better end. Physically, they are for the most part slim & therefore quite difficult to be seen as ‘ugly’. Those of them who are particularly skilled with applying makeup can almost look perfectly mystical at times, so this is a pretty big factor. Big pretty eyes & a veneration of the foreigner (& my apologies to other ethnic groups but it must be said; particularly the white man), mean this is one of the few places a man from abroad can punch well above his weight. Ultimately however & as with a lot of cultures, money becomes the first & most vital currency in any interaction. That said, it’s still less so than what we have to pay in the West. A mutually beneficial medium if you will.

On to Indonesia & we see what are generally reasonably fine people, with a thirst of that money. I write the next sentence not in a derogatory way to a culture that endeavors to accommodate tourists very well but as a repeated & clear observation; as one ends any interaction such as having a meal or leaving a taxi, you can often see their eyes hungrily looking down at your hands as you arrange your wallet, much in the same way an otherwise loving Labrador suddenly becomes transfixed on nothing else except a treat his petter unexpectedly produces. I do appreciate this income is essential to a country where even the tourist prices are unbelievably low in comparison to say, pretty much any country that uses the Euro or Dollar, but it’s disappointing to feel as though any sort of rapport you may have built with someone, is just ultimately to gouge a little more money out of you; almost as though they’re the joker playing up to the king. I don’t view anyone as lesser or greater than myself (but I do talk a good game if I need to knock someone into line) & so I found this to be a bit upsetting.

As for the girls: I would firstly say they aren’t as naturally beautiful as Japanese or Thai girls, but then I would propose these are the two premium races in Asia. Westernised Japanese girls particularly, are goddamn superb & if they’ve got that trained body I like, sign me on the dotted line. But, Japanese girls are the hardest work. Thai & Indonesian girls are going to be much easier generally, than Japanese. And especially Indonesian girls, because they’re later to the game. While any of my game was safely packed away for a week or so while I honestly enjoyed my boyfriend position like a normal human being for once, I could see there certainly was one or two of the girls I had interacted with with a little spark in their eye when they spoke to me. Had I have been on my own, I would have chanced my skills there & then. In summery, Japanese girls are culturally not conditioned to be open to foreigners or to be open about sex, so despite the clear quality, you can generally expect to be playing some ‘long game’. Thai girls are essentially the same as Indonesian girls, except they’ve had the ‘cool foreigner’ effect considerably diminished thanks to the years of slurring embarrassments degrading themselves there for a number of years now. But what you can do to counter this of course, is what originally was referred to in game as ‘peacocking’; you might wear something very unusual to stand out of the crowd of wherever you are. Nowadays, the ‘crowd’ is the entire general mentality of wherever you happen to find yourself. In Thailand, you can peacock by just not being a drunken prick.

A friend of mine stood as testament to this when he visited some years back. He was propositioned with sex for payment, to which the rest of his group didn’t hesitate from her colleagues. Not being of this nature, my friend respectfully declined & the girl lowered her asking price. When he explained he just wasn’t into paying girls for sex (he later admitted to me it was even less appealing when girls from less wealthy countries were involved too), she was ggenuinely taken aback. As the conversation developed, they became friendly with her offering to take him to her favourite restaurant. No, not for him to pay. She offered to take him for dinner. Yes, she was a sex worker & a beautiful one who was fluent in English too, but that takes nothing away from the gesture. If anything, I would say it adds even more given most people working in sex industry who I’ve met are some of the most cynical about human nature. She offered to show him around on following days & even though he could have done something more with her entirely willing at any time, he didn’t & they remain friends to this day.

Can you even remotely imagine a western woman taking you to dinner these days?? It is 98% certain never to happen to a man.

To conclude, Indonesian women are only now discovering the worlds of Tinder & it’s like casual sex has suddenly become en vogue, much as it did in the same way in the West when it first came about, before it got commoditised. Did you know some girls are now asking for pre-payment to converse with a match on the Tinder? To converse… If you’re one of the idiots fueling this apparent phenomenon, please stop.

I happened to find myself alongside an inept English guy on a Tinder date with a pretty Indonesian girl, while I took Venezuelan out for dinner. Frankly speaking, she’d dressed up for a fucking & all other things being equal, he was punching clearly above his weight. Despite her still remaining & showing interest, he allowed his insecurities to fall into him acting as though he was playing games with a typical Western idiot. While he had sat at the table with her, he was speaking too quickly, pretending to read his phone & various other pointless attempts at psychological games. He was truly inept, but yet by the end she still retained some interest in him.

I don’t like to blow my own trumpet. But right now I’m going to Swiss horn it from the nearest rooftop; I honestly think if she was showing me the same level of interest as him, I could’ve had this girl in bed within two hours. Yes, I’m not even going to say ‘the same night’. Straightforwardly, two hours. Any one with advanced game could have done the same.

The current Tinder sex cycle is there. It could be elsewhere too (somewhere like Belarus wouldn’t surprise me) but you’re going to have to go to such places, if you want to meet decent women for any reason. And no, I’m not saying Tinder is the way to find a woman of any quality; quite the opposite in fact. But once it becomes popular, every basic bitch thinks she’s the shit & the whole game gets a lot less interesting.

Book those flights! More to come on my personal situation next week…

~ Unjaded


I thought I’d try searching for ‘sexy feminist’ today, to give a fair shot. And I’m sorry, but that was an abysmal failure unless you have a weird Beyonce fetish. So here’s a picture of the incredibly hot Bryana Holly instead.

I love travelling by train. It’s quite the metaphor for life in my eyes. You make a decision on where you want to end up & on that journey a whole bunch of sights speed past. As I thunder past, these landmarks seem more interesting to me than if I were just passing by in my day to day activities. Even things such as a field with some cows & a big pylon in it seem to gain an extra level of intrigue to me; not because of that childlike wonder when you discover new things as a youngster but more that it reminds me of that time. As you get older & learn how things really work, that idealism gets replaced by a survive & prosper mentality. You look at the situation, decide what you need to do to firstly stabilise & then optimise, until you reach a level of satisfaction.

I find that pretty sad. Not only do we lose the playfulness that makes us who we are, but we also become cynical. These days, the most attractive thing about anyone in any type of relationship is their playfulness & ability to have fun. That in turn fuels me. There’s nothing like having a bit of optimism & laughing in the face of potential tragedy. Given the inevitability of our own mortality, what other choice is there? A life devoid of feeling or experiences is a complete loss of an opportunity in my opinion.

On the other hand, I’ve realised environments where a bleak & grim acceptance is prevalent, just utterly drain me. An example is the total joke of self important politics that exists within the corporate world. While the typical day to day activities of my actual job are tolerable & at times, even verging on interesting, I’m currently being encouraged (read ‘pushed’) into management conversations in my job, which honestly I’ve always despised on account of it clearly being akin to childlike flirting; those who need something from the decision maker of the day sit at the meeting table with their overly prepared, dressed up presentation which when you strip it down, is often little more than ‘we need money for this’. The decision maker sits there with his inflated perception of himself like a king or emperor, as everyone awaits his thumb to indicate up or down.

But in the vast majority of cases, they don’t even dignify the requester with a response in person, instead waiting until they are safely huddled up in their office with the barrier of email. A fucking cowards escape. In the event of money becoming worthless one day for whatever reason, these cunts would have utterly nothing to offer the world.

One might read this & think ‘Oh Unjaded must have had a proposal rejected or some such & now he’s venting’. In fact, I’ve always had that side to me. I believe my teachers at school assessed my attitude as a ‘problem with authority’. I would rather describe it as ‘knowing no one is better than me’. But don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe I am better than anyone else either. We are but a product of our choices, external stimuli & privilege. All of these can be controlled or mitigated should you wish. No fucker is born any better than another, & we all have our talents.

There are too many protection methods for people these days. While I do actually advocate equal opportunities for all, I also support equal consequences for all. If someone in your job speaks or acts with you disrespectfully, your measured response should also be equally acceptable. I should be able to respond to him at the same level without recourse. Whatever is or isn’t acceptable should be applicable to all equally, for then people would further consider their actions because of consequence or retribution. As satisfying as it would be, I’m not suggesting I should be able to strike my manager in the face if I don’t like what he’s saying but what applies for one should apply for all. I worked in security for several years before starting in the corporate world & saw a few occasions where girls (admittedly, generally of a lower intellectual grade) thought themselves so invulnerable because of whatever illusions society or the media had impressed upon them, & decided to lash out & strike men. Fortunately for them, there was usually a white knight on hand to protect any response but I had seen a couple of occasions where they weren’t quite so lucky & the scorned man ‘replied’ in kind before making his escape. Let’s just say women quickly realise their physical limitations rapidly when a man repays the favour.

Let me just append the above by categorically stating that while I expect any person should expect an equal reaction to whatever action they choose to take, I have at no point encouraged, advocated or myself engaged in violent behaviour against women. I would however, actively use full non-lethal restraint techniques as required without hesitation however, for both women & men, in line with the concept of reasonable force in the defence of oneself.

One for the publishers of the eventual book adaptation there.

But this isn’t about violence, & never should it be. It is about understanding that while people should have the freedom & safety to express themselves freely, anything which genuinely impinges upon another’s normal state should be expected to have consequences. Those consequences should be equal in measure. I do believe (although not personally agree with) that controversial subjects should be allowed to be spoken about freely. I’m literally the least homophobic person on earth & I for example, believe if homosexual wish to celebrate that then they should be allowed. However, I believe that in the modernised Western world, there’s no longer a need for this to take place as a public event, simply because of the presence of children. Children should be taught that (continuing with the homosexuality example) whatever sexuality stance you choose, it is of little consequence & should be a personal matter. More important is the qualities that comprise being a good human being, regardless of your sexual preference or any other distinguishing criteria you were born with, inherited or discovered one day within yourself. One should not be promoted above another as more glamorous or acceptable than another, which is where reverse discrimination brings you.

The other day, I was getting changed in the gym locker room when a girl who works there comes in with a mop to clean up. I actually have absolutely no problem with that, assuming a man can also do the same going into the women’s locker room. I’m obviously not monitoring the situation but I’m assuming the male staff are not allowed to do the same in the female changing room. What’s the difference?

Much in the same way as there are women’s rights marches; the acceptance of both has taken place long ago in practical terms. You want to protest about women’s rights? Go to Saudi Arabia & state your case. That I would absolutely respect in a woman.

Equally, I wouldn’t tolerate someone making judgments upon my character based upon a perception they have of me. I remember watching this disgusting female who happened to also claimed to be a feminist hurling a torrent of vile slurs against a man whose only crime appeared to be being a man. He handled it incredibly well considering she spat in his face & physically assaulted him, her sure any retribution would be captured on camera & somehow manipulated into her being the victim. This type of behaviour is on a par with any of the worst forms of discrimination, such as racism. I can totally understand the aggression that ethnic minorities build up inside themselves when they’re treated in particular ways because of their colour or demeanor. I mean, an idiot is an idiot in any colour so we’ll put that aside, but I’ve seen it myself that some prefer those of their own creed. This results in a backlash in almost every situation.

And there we are: the backlash. In much the same way as the minority can feel compelled to revolt somehow after a lifetime of marginalisation, to how I start looking for another job because of how I’m treated by certain colleagues, through to how marriage rates & even relationship commitment is wildly spiraling downwards as men fail to see the upsides of long term commitment; any behaviour to shut down, harass, humiliate or prevent the expression of oneself without the harm of another without equal & fair measure to all, is only going to result in a stronger reaction later down the line.

~ Unjaded



And in the end, it was ‘return’. Instead of regretting not going to seek closure from BM-13 & going about it with all the subtly of an egomaniac, the exact same situation, with the exact same social media, has resulted in my relationship with Venezuelan hanging by a thread.

I won’t go into the details, as it’s almost the same as what happened with Mexican last year to a tee. The only difference this time was I didn’t sleep with BM-13. This time, it was needed for closure. I had to make peace with that person to move forward. I have been subconsciously positioning myself to settle down with Venezuelan; making peace with the past but in a self imposed cruel twist of fate, now that looks to be in question.

We meet later today, to talk it out. If I can salvage things, I think this really will be the turning point I have subconsciously been leading up to. Tonight’s the night, as I currently drag myself through this day of travel to where Venezuelan lives, where we’ll talk. If it’s really over, I’ll be very upset & depressed. I can already feel the energy having left my body last night when things first blew up. Not being able to sleep at all last night. The lack of appetite. If it’s over or unsustainable, I’ll have to just fight through it. I’ll continue to save up & throw myself into my music in any case. I’d like for us to be together, I really would. I think we make a great couple & I’ve felt for a while I’d really like to settle down with Venezuelan.

It won’t be like last time. Even if I continueto feel as bad as I do now after we talk tonight, then I’ll have to struggle through for a while.  It’s clear in some ways, I’ve been living a lie. I’m a sensitive person & living alone as a bachelor in the long term just feels hollow & pointless. Moreover, I’m not mentally strong enough to maintain that. I only ever consider such notions when I’m happy in a relationship, which is an unfortunately vampiric way of living & clearly not sustainable.

I may have to sacrifice my music & move to the same country as Venezuelan. The honest truth is, I have no idea how this will pan out.

~ Unjaded

The Turkish Lie

I don't have a clue who this is. But she's Turkish & she's smoking hot...

I don’t have a clue who this is. But she’s Turkish & she’s smoking hot…

It was coming sooner or later. I could sense it more likely to be the former. Since Turkish Delight had moved to Europe for university, it was only a matter of time before she’d either drift off due to her inevitable new found attention, or start asking questions now we were a few hundred miles closer.

To be honest, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if she did drift off into the arms of another. Although I had developed a level of care for her, I certainly wasn’t in love. And she’s a good person; it would be remiss of me to deprive her of the opportunity to experience things she probably wouldn’t be able to back in her home country, as a young woman.

We’d arranged to chat over Skype & it went well. She was happy to speak to me too, & the mutual attraction was still certainly there. I did notice something slightly different about her demeanor however. Experience over the years has told me this either means interest or some interaction with another guy; at least interest but it can be up to full sex. Or, that she was suspicious about something.

However the conversation proceeded well & we went on to discuss me coming to her to visit. I had been weighing up the situation. Although there wasn’t a risk of me getting into a difficult situation as I had done before thanks to the glory of social media, I didn’t want to even risk anything. I had previously booked flights to see Turkish Delight in her home country, but she’d cancelled on me a couple of days before. Except for the financial loss, I wasn’t that bothered as I didn’t really feel like flying all the way out there. But my reasoning on continuing relations with her was the same as it was here; I wanted to experience being with her at least one more time.

I planned to visit her. Verman was in the next city, I planned to see both of them in one weekend; to double up. I made the arrangements but Turkish Delight held off on me booking the flights until she’d got back to me with her ‘schedule’. Perhaps it was my cynicism, but I wondered what this meant. I didn’t stress about it of course, but was intrigued as to what this meant.

I didn’t hear anything for a while, but didn’t press the point. In the end, I wanted to try to keep some momentum going, so I suggested instead the following weekend. This seemed to work well for everyone, so everything was good.

Until I found out 2014 hall of famer JapYog, was coming through my town that same weekend; the girl who is responsible for some of the best overall sex I’ve ever had in my life. This changed a few things, so I made an excuse that I’d forgot I’d agreed to host someone who was passing through town that weekend, so unfortunately would have to reschedule. Verman took it quite well (despite it being the third time I’d cancelled on her) & Turkish Delight seemed OK with it too. But her demeanor still was interesting to me.

I broke the topic which we both knew was simmering beneath, which ultimately resulted in her asking me if I’d met other women since we’d first met each other. Not (generally) being in the business of brutally shattering young girls ideas about me, I simply replied with ‘yes’.

In short, that transpired with her basically assuming I’d meant either met romantically or fucked. When I went into more depth & tried to isolate it to either the sex or something else (without specifying those words), it seemed as though the emotional side of me meeting other girls was of far more importance than if I’d fucked them or not. I actually felt a little bad at this point. Perhaps I’d underestimated the depth of her feelings for me.

It was clear she was becoming very upset about her understanding of me meeting people. I concluded her demeanor had been fed by the uncertainty about what my life was away from her. Now there was no reasonable reason why I shouldn’t have let her come & visit me now we were closer & not restrained by her visa restrictions. I could feel her spiralling downwards into cutting things between us, & I had to adjust the conversation, for her faith in men as well as my own selfish desires.

I began by telling her when I said I ‘met’, all I’d meant was I’d met them as friends, in the same way I’d met other men. Simple company & nothing more. Of course, it was a flagrant lie. It took several exchanges to bring her back to a stable enough mentality to listen rationally again. After, we went back to pretty much where we were before; some devotion from her towards me & her under the impression I had not been with other women.

Any reader of this blog will know full well that’s not the case, even in the slightest. I’m currently doing my best to get through as many women as possible before the end of this year. It should be one of the best & eventful years so far.

This only confirmed one thing for me; despite women’s protestations of requiring honesty, there generally is simply no advantage to being entirely honest with a girl, particularly pre sex. Instead, it is far better for all involved to enjoy the time you are spending together for what it is, & instead of outright lying (as I chose to do here, in the interests of preserving a young girl’s belief in men & love), to instead adopt an approach of not addressing specifics, unless left with no other choice.

To simply not raise or worst case, dodge questions is always the better choice. Sure, the overall moral symphony chorus dictates that you should be honest, but in reality if you don’t, someone else (our friend Pedro the Brazilian waiter for example) is simply going to do it instead.

You can’t save the world on your own. You can’t swim upstream forever. One of the highest echelons of intelligence is that of adaptability. Evolution itself has proven this to be so, so make like a Bearded Iguana, evolve, survive & then prosper.

Responsibility & A Holiday


I’ve just spent last week fucking a girl who looks like this. How was your weekend?

Here I am again, in one of my most reflective of spots, the airport. I believe over one and a half years ago now, this blog was started in an airport, & now continues on in that same traditional fashion.

Why? Difficult to say, but being honest it’s probably because being on a plane or in an airport often means you have very little distractions around you. And more often than not, all of us are prone to delay decision making or responsibility, & instead choose distraction. It’s understandable. We are faced with a multitude of choices in modern day life & particularly as a man, a wealth of supposed responsibility.

There’s a concept; that of a man’s responsibility. It was once understood that from need of the overall environment & situation, a man would take responsibility for what & who he brought into his life. The nature of the world where the man was the only one who often, was even able to bring income into a household, meant he accepted this, should he take a woman or father a child. Roll forward forty to fifty years & things have changed. Women have long been campaigning to show they are at least as capable as men at anything they can do & as far as Western culture gender equality has gone, have completed their goal to an exceeding degree. In many cases, the system & society as a whole is weighted against men. Even one were to disagree with that point, it’s simply undeniable that access or facilitation into any area of life is clearly possible for women.

So one must ask, if a man is constantly reminded through the media, society & even his partner of his lack of worth, why would one accept any bestowed declarations of responsibility?

I’ve just come back from a week’s holiday with Venezuelan. That’s why I’m sat in an airport, awaiting my connection back to my current locale after the long haul flight was predictably delayed & I got transferred to the next flight. Incidentally, I’m very cold as I forgot to take out my jumper from my hold baggage before departing.

The holiday with her was actually pretty good. I must say she’s the only girl I’ve been with in quite some time who doesn’t annoy the fuck out of me with some pseudo intellectual bullshit she saw on social media, doesn’t act like a princess & surprisingly at times, goes out of her way to help me. Often I’ve just felt like girls are only taking from me, & all I’m getting out of it is regular sex & company when I need it.

We relaxed, enjoyed ourselves, fucked like crazy & then spent the last couple of days joining her friend for what was basically their delayed honeymoon. Unfortunately the hotel was suffering from an outbreak of some horrible virus & I was laid out for twenty four hours. That was the day I realised you can watch sport for twelve straight hours on US television. It was a good holiday & I have to say, she didn’t annoy me at all. She became a little clingy on the flight back but in fairness she was also stifling food poisoning on a flight which was scary as fuck near landing, from being blown almost completely out of line with the landing strip on approach.

The thing about going on holiday is, it really removes all those aforementioned distractions & gives you a chance to think about things. And I did in fact realise, that a lot of how my life has transpired, has been driven by the various girlfriends I have had & me then making the best of the fallout. I’ve had probably five girlfriends where I’ve thought I at least loved them, & I’ve done the following;

GF1: Changed universities at the last minute, after we’d spent hours going over places that did course we both wanted. I left without her, in my first band & with four amazing friends. It was also the time when I started to realise how much pussy was actually available out there.

GF2: Moved to a very large city. We ended, with me having cheated on her rampantly but it ending because she wanted to do voluntary work abroad. Realised the real availability of relatively easy sex with foreign girls in big cities.

GF3: Not strictly a girlfriend as I was still with GF2 at the time. Realised what quality of girls I was capable of getting & travelled abroad alone for the first time. Also, the first time a girl breaking up with me broke me somewhat.

GF4: The first time I truly thought I’d found the one, in EEP. The relationship degenerated badly over time & I realised in hindsight I was partially to blame. Some of the most consistently amazing sex I’ve had though. I left the big city for my central European hideout, where I realised the efficiency at which I could go through women, almost systematically. Probably when I’d become the most heartless & cold in my life too.

GF5: The self inflicted cause of one of the lowest points of my life, well documented here & one subject I do not wish to detail again. The cause of me being based where I am now, & also the biggest shock to myself, at how drastically I became emotionally reliant upon someone. That had never happened to me before.

Which leads us to the present day, with Venezuelan being the leading contender to be the next one. Her desire is I move back home, where we’d then move in together.

The bride who we’d visited for the belated wedding celebration had her baby with her & although baby in question was actually pretty cute, it reminded me of how boring having a baby seems to be to me. In the first place, I never have the overwhelming urge to pick up babies or obsess about them. Sure, I’ll play with them if they’re cute like baby in question, but even baby in question simply made me realise; I couldn’t give a fuck about babies. Literally all of the bride & groom’s time and/or focus was taken up by the baby. It was almost as though you had ceased to be people. I can understand if people might initially get a little excited about a baby, but after nothing else for several hours, it was boring as fuck. And this was a nice cute baby!

Venezuelan doesn’t want children, which is a massive bonus. Despite the logistical difficulties that began this year, if things hadn’t planned out how they did, I could have a three to four month pregnant girlfriend by now. Jesus man. I truly must have a good guardian angel, who knows what’s better for me than I do myself.

So, is it going to be the same again, where my movements & plans revolve around another? The fact I’m reflecting upon it would suggest otherwise. However, I’m also being realistic. As I have said before, although I don’t subscribe to the notion of getting ‘too old’ for X, Y or Z, I do need to be realistic. I don’t like going out to clubs or bars anymore & even when I do, I’ve been in the game so long I see the vast majority of these bitches for what they are; superfluous, superficial, short term idiots. And here when I use the term ‘bitches’, I’m talking about the men & the women. Although obviously only the latter is of relevance to me. I’ve seen it all before & I’m tired of playing the game. I love the fucking, that’s true. But the bullshit that goes with it, makes me question if it’s worth it.

More now for the general populace than ever before. I’m actually grateful I was born when I was, because at least I experienced some of the time before every woman though she was a princess waiting to be won thanks to Tinder.

I have seven women who want to fuck me when I get back. The BalletDancer, SPC, some horse riding woman, the LargeBreastedChilean, the Austrian, the Serbian & the twenty three year old SwissGerman. Of those, in reality none of them would make a good girlfriend because they respectively are; too weird, has a kid, just up for fucking, boring, too busy & leaving in about 2 weeks. The bottom line is, if I tried to get a decent woman now who hasn’t got tangible or non-tangible baggage, it’d be very hard. And this is the bottom line for most men, & especially those dating women in the thirty to forty age bracket. This is the biological turning point for women & it’s entirely clear when you’re dating this ago demographic.

So, these factors of tiredness of the game, the other options & finding a woman who isn’t fucking totally obsessed with having a kid are all plusses towards me sacking it off & going home.

Then on the other side, I have a wide selection of women already to have fun with, as well as my band. The former I can get anywhere, but the latter – well honesty, I think it’s my last shot at finding a talented, unjaded & humble group of individuals who want to make good honest music. Although they’re as terrible as other musicians at getting organised, there is an excellent dynamic in the band. I would have left after the beginning of the year for sure if that was not ongoing.

I don’t drink, do drugs or smoke any longer. I even feel guilty if I break my diets or play video games for a while to switch off. The one thing I do a lot though, is fuck women. A lot of women compared to the average. It’s clear that is either my passion, my goal or my weakness. And I often have wondered if there is a higher force that is either using this to guide me somewhere, or in fact it is as simply a characteristic in my person & it is my resourcefulness or survival ability to make the best of what are my own bad decisions (or lack thereof), that leads to my successes.

Recent difficulties with my family have also made me realise there is also the possibility of being left entirely alone, or bouncing between baggage filled women to temporarily fill that gap, as the years roll by. And truth be told, although I am pretty good at chatting with women once the conversation has been started (to the point of rapidly getting them naked), my mood & the general fatigue of playing the game often leaves me feeling like I just can’t be bothered. I’ve noticed there’s very few women that really make me think ‘wow’ & even then, after some observation I again often find something I see which switches me off fairly quickly. I don’t really like approaching women to be honest, mainly because the majority of them are hypocritical, delusional cunts. I dislike most of them by default anyway & so hold in distain the idea of me doing anything to support their false notions of grandeur. As already mentioned, their issues pile up in their thirties & as a result, you’re often left with the detritus as you get older.

And again, this is a criticism I apply to most people, not just women. But I’m not into fucking men.

So in summary, I believe I have to do what is right for me. I always planned to buy a third property as my baseline retirement plan & with contract negotiations coming up on my return to work, I feel I am in a strong position to negotiate higher. I’ll have to stay out here another six months at least to get the deposit together, for the first stage of the ultimate plan to get our of the rat race; my baseline retirement plan so to speak.

Further to that, there’s also the possibility of working abroad. Once I’ve purchased this last property, there is less urgency for any onward plans, which means I can take less money & utilise my career to explore new destinations. While I could do this with a partner, let’s face it; half the intrigue for me is the possibility of banging a whole new subset of women.

It’s entirely possible Venezuelan won’t like that. But if that is so, then it is so. It’s that time of my life where I have to stick to my own plans & if she can & wants to come along for the ride, then so be it. But all in good time.

We have one life & we have to live it as we see best.

~ Unjaded


No sexy woman (or inflatable man) this time, but a rather cool & relationship accurate graphic...

No sexy woman (or inflatable man) this time, but a rather cool & relationship accurate graphic…

On the morning flight back to the joke country, after a generally pleasant day & night with Verman, who you may remember me mentioning long ago in this very blog. She was indeed the German girl I mentioned in my last post.

Time ran short back then as I got the hell out of dodge. It was time to leave after a superb two & half years of money & fucking. Good times.

She got back in touch about a month ago, for reasons I assumed to be her breaking up with some guy. In the middle of last week, as I frantically ran from place to place sequentially dealing with task after task. I finally thought ‘fuck it’ & decided to accept her offer of a visit. There was a cheap flight to a nearby city so off I went for a day & night.

She collected me from the station with positive body language. She’d prepared me a home made juiced drink, which was kind of her. Although I’d booked a hotel, off we went back to her place to settle down a bit.

She looked great, with a slim body but still a round ass. Her body reminded me a lot of EEP, which coupled with her natural hunger for sex, was a great combination back then. Verman was very much in the same mould, except without those tinges of psychosis waiting to explode one day down the line.

That was mainly due to Verman having indulged her sexual desires quite extensively. I’ve got last the point of caring about how many guys girls have slept with these days, but I’m fairly sure if I would have asked it would have been beyond my own number, which in itself is substantial. But then it’s far easier when as a woman, all you have to do is leave your house & spread your legs to get laid, not as men having to jump through all the hoops many women define, just to get some pussy.

Think about that the next time you are upset about a woman, or inconveniencing yourself to do something particular for a girl. Essentially you are concerned with two main needs; your physical need to have sex with that person, which for whatever reason you have particularly attached yourself to. Perhaps she’s good at sucking dick. Or she’s soothes your feelings of isolation because she appears to listen to you. Or you like the same shit, so it’s more convenient for you because you don’t have to change your routine too much. Or most commonly, perhaps you think she’s the best you can do because of your underlying self esteem issues.

The second need is that of the ego. Your ego requires you to have a degree of control control, by way of others respecting your boundaries by not fucking your girl, or her fucking others in it’s most pure form. This may indeed never happen, but you may feel obliged to sacrifice a lot in order for you to feel secure enough for that.

It’s commonly seen in unhappily married men. They’ve basically sacrificed a great deal of their life, personal space & interests out of a fear that if they don’t acceed to their wife’s demands, any possible future occasions of her infidelity will be attributable to him, because he refused to make said sacrifices.

He becomes a shell of his former self, relegated to a few allowed hours per week in his own dungeon. He forgets who he is & instead becomes an accessory to someone else’s lifestyle. And as a result, his self esteem problems become ever further entrenched.

The reason you see some men who have come out of a divorce utterly broken is this very concept; they truly loved & tried to always do the right thing. They sacrificed a lot. And the fucking cunt on the other side couldn’t even keep the most basic side of her bargain & not slip onto another dick. She even has audacity after to blame it on him.

All of this for what? Sex? Women are extensively fucking other people now, & failing that have a fine collection of plastic to help out. I presently know barely a single woman who is truly single; at the very minimum they have a fuck buddy – the truly glorious role for a man. All the benefits, no hassle.

If you’re being honest with yourself, you’re doing all of this, for pussy & little else. Pussy is ABUNDANT these days. You can even purchase it if you must, so don’t delude yourself into thinking a particular one is your answer to everything. Be selfish & practical, like most Western women are.

Having recently come out of a relationship that felt very much like a divorce, I would wish this upon no man. Don’t ever forget who you are, take pride in it & make time for it, no matter what your situation is. Always be aware, reevaluating & strong.

Coming back to my weekend excursion, Verman had already been pretty open about sex. We had a nice breakfast together & then went for a walk around the city. We eventually made our way to the hotel I’d booked. I threw her on the bed & undressed her, before unleashing my tongue on her. She enjoyed it but it was clear we needed a bit more time to familiarise ourselves with one another – it felt a bit like a one night stand, the thrill of which is usually better than the act itself. She repaid the favour very well, it must be said, although I also couldn’t finish for the same reason. Kinda strange for two very experienced people I suppose. I was very hard so she asked if I’d brought a condom which I hadn’t in all honesty. I couldn’t find them since moving.

So we left & had a huge dinner. I ordered too much & then we went back to her place. I tried to wake up a bit with a coffee as I haven’t slept enough this whole week but it just blurred me out. She was all over me but I was struggling to get into it again. It was a similar feeling to when I forced myself to go to the first sex party & didn’t get excited at all. I just felt a total disconnect from my pelvic region. This time, it may have been attributable to the tiredness, the volume/quality of the dinner (my healthy eating just went out the window this weekend) or the introduction to some of her sex toys.

I don’t know why but sex toys just turn me off completely. They’re something artificial in an otherwise entirely natural act. It’s on the same level of turn off as a girl who brags about her other current or previous sexual conquests – I don’t find it attractive at all.

We went to her mezzanine bedroom, forgoing the option of the hotel. Once there we sixty nined, in all honesty me at this point only wanting to sleep & happy to go down on her to not have to go through a probably exhausting full sex act.

My body was also in pain. I’d trained hard the previous week & had gave myself a rest from my supplements. The net result has been less energy & painful knees, so overall I just felt like shit. My penis reflected that. Despite her giving me fantastic head earlier & me being completely into it then, those same skills were getting absolutely no reaction at all now.

In fairness, she was absolutely nice about it & completely understood, as she also needed familiarity to orgasm or sometimes even get excited with someone. Truth was I was shattered & felt like shit.

We slept & I awoke in the morning, after yet another night of not enough sleep (averaging about six at best per night at the moment, which is about two less per night than I need). We went to the airport & said our goodbyes. She seemed tired but sad to see me go.

In many ways, she’s similar to me, although probably has a bigger heart. Sexually she isn’t bothered about open relationships or even her man sleeping with other people, so long as she’s the main girl in that person’s life. I also asked her if she thought it was possible to love two people at once, to which she replied ‘absolutely’; the only time I’ve a got an even remotely agreeable response from anyone.

She’s hot too, with a right body, amazing long hair down to her ass, big eyes & quite petite.

It’s happened a couple of times to me now where I’ve pushed myself into situations where I’d expect to perform & for physiological or psychological reasons I can’t get into it.

Perhaps I need to make some adjustments to my lifestyle…

~ Unjaded